3/10
It's a classic...uh, not really.
12 January 2001
Sometimes, watching B movies can be difficult. This is especially so when the studio makes a movie, and later decides enough plots to make it so much cinematic stew. Such is the case of Frankenstein Conquers the World.

First, we have the Frankenstein monster's heart, which is taken by the German Gestapo. Why? Who knows? The heart is placed on Das Boot, and finds it's way to Japan...Hiroshima, Japan during the summer of '45. Being *anywhere* in Japan in the summer of '45 was not the place to be. And you guess it, the heart gets nuked by the Enola Gay. Of all the luck...

The heart now springs to life, and becomes a boy! This kid is growing faster & eating more than the Man from Mars in Blondie's "Rapture". About the only thing he's not eating is cars and guitars. Meanwhile, in another part of Japan, somebody blows something up, and Baragon appears, but only to one guy, so the guy thinks he's seeing things. While Baragon is going Camp Crystal Lake on people, the Frankenboy is taking the rap for it. How you confuse a giant mutated boy with a giant mutated lizard is something I'll not understand living outside of Japan. Eventually, the boy and the lizard do finally get it on, but the results are as disappointing as your average Don King-promoted fight.

Sterno says don't pay $49.99 to watch this movie on pay-per-view.
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