Review of Pulsebeat

Pulsebeat (1985)
Undignified little fitness club side-order.
10 April 2004
Probably the worst of a string of films cranked out to capitalize on the health-club craze of the early 1980s(a time when aerobics classes were replacing singles bars), this is little more than scuzzy voyeurism with a ghost of a plot. PULSEBEAT is merely a gatherum of scenes featuring "body beautiful" types pumping, flexing, wiggling, and posing to the irritating sounds of canned synth-pop, with a granule of a story concerning a gym owner struggling to stay afloat due to constant sabotage by his nasty competitor.

The true star of this show is the hilariously dated, distinctly 80s overaccessorized workout fashion...leg-warmers, a belt, a headband, full make-up, jewelry, a purse, skyscraper hair, etc. Well, hey...no pain, no gain! Skip this dud and rent a generic workout video...that way, you can see everything this one offers without the burden of a contrived story which is insulting to your intelligence.

One positive note in closing...Helga Line, forever a welcome screen presence, looks fantastic in this. 3/10
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