The Hitman (1991)
5/10
I would think that even Chuck Norris has standards, but, apparently, I was wrong
2 August 2004
I can't say very much positive about this film; it's pretty much the typical, average action film, but it has so many horrendously bad parts and so unbelievably few good parts that it can only just be classified as average. Had it been slightly worse, it wouldn't even have gotten the 5 I'm giving it, which is even partly due to my being in a good mood now. The plot is nearly non-existent, as well as it's lifted straight out of plenty of other, better action movies. The pace is painfully slow; the film is incredibly hard to sit through. The acting is laughable. The characters are poorly written, ill-conceived cliches. Even the soundtrack/score is bad. There was a point where I actually burst out laughing from the sheer stupidity of the soundtrack, and the directors poorly done, entirely failed attempt at creating the slightest bit of atmosphere. The direction is lazy and uninventive. The cinematography is forgettable, and often looks like the cameraman is asleep. The action is decent, but often far too gory for a regular type of action film; if it was thriller/action or horror/action, sure, but not regular action. Guys don't see action movies to see throats being cut in graphic detail, or people coughing up ridiculous amounts of blood; they watch it to see people blowing each other away with guns and/or explosives. And what the hell was up with the knees being blown away in that last scene? It's not that it was so poorly done(which it certainly was), it's that it's completely unnecessary. We neither expect nor want to see such gruesome violence in a standard action film. The dialog is ludicrously bad, and often unintentionally funny. I'm also baffled at what the point or message of the fight between the two kids was supposed to be; I get that the father was the reason for the kid being violent, and that violence only spawns more violence, but what the hell did Chuck punch the guy for, then? Won't that make him(and, in turn, his kid) more violent, then? Ridiculous. The plot twists were also ludicrous, especially in the last couple of scenes where people seemed to change sides back and forth constantly. I can imagine many guys considering renting or maybe even(heaven forbid) buying this garbage because of the cover, and, more importantly, the bad-ass gun that Norris is packing, on the cover. Believe me, I understand where you're coming from; and I made that mistake. I bought this film(cheap, don't worry; very, very cheap) because I(like you) expected Norris to deal out some heavy punishment with the double-barrel shotgun. I'm afraid I have to disappoint you; he uses it in three scenes, and only of them is somewhat entertaining(not particularly much, though). This film really isn't worth any of your time or money. I suggest that if you do get a chance to watch it(at no cost whatsoever and you don't have anything else to do for those 90 minutes), try to think of it as a comedy; listen to the laughable dialog and music, laugh at the bad acting and the horrible script. It'll make it so much easier. Try it; I did. And that's probably the only reason that I can be so calm about this mess, er, movie. I recommend this *only* to huge action and/or Chuck Norris fans. Everyone else should avoid it. 5/10
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