[WARNING: Spoilers ahead throughout this review.]
There's a speech Fox Mulder makes at the end of the X-files movie which goes along the lines of "Well here we are again, we had the evidence in our hands and now we've lost it. I'm sick of it happening again, I don't want to do this any more." I felt like applauding at that point.
For me that speech was not only this film but the whole concept of the X-files in a nutshell.
Nothing of any real consequence occurs in this film, nothing at all. It's simply two FBI agents occasionally being chased, or chasing someone, or looking puzzled. They sometimes find physical evidence of a government conspiracy to do something terrible, but the evidence is without exception snatched away or destroyed (or forgotten by the writers). Sometimes we might even see the conspirators talking about these forthcoming terrible events in very vague terms. The terrible events never, ever happened in the series. However, I was hopeful that with a cinema budget they might stretch to showing an alien invasion or two. Perhaps the writers had only been teasing the audience until they had the money to give their intended cataclysm justice on the big screen. Alas, all we get is an exploding building (destroying evidence), an exploding car (destroying evidence) and some snow falling into an empty hole. Nothing you wouldn't find in a TV Movie.
The dialogue is awful too, Mulder is continuously told that he's "barely scratched the surface" of the conspiracy. I'd wager a good amount of money that he's actually gone right through the surface a long time ago and exhausted all the plot we're ever going to get out of Chris Carter. When we find out what this conspiracy involves, it's actually a very very dull mix of "Alien" and "V", about extraterrestrials conquering the earth with the help of ambitious humans with a view to feeding on human bodies. "Doctor Who" also used this plot several times over in the 60s and 70s.
In the X-Files, essentially, nothing happens, to the characters, to their status or their plans, and for the worst of reasons, because the producers want to string this franchise out for as long as they can make money from it. The aliens will never invade, but neither will Mulder ever prove to anyone that they exist, I can tell you that right now. I can also tell you that if all this *is* ever resolved in a final film or episode, it will turn out to be a disappointing cop-out.
One of the other reviewers on IMDB compared the X-Files film to Hitchcock, but Hitchcock actually satisfied his audience by showing the little guy cleverly fighting back and eventually triumphing over the dark conspiracy against him. There was methodical progression, there was movement, there was excitement, tension and engagement. Hitchcock films are thrilling because you believe the hero might win or the villain might kill him. You know the conclusion is just round the corner, whatever happens.
In the X-Files we *know* that Mulder will never be killed (the evil conspirators say they will not kill him for fear of making him a martyr). Unfortunately, we also *know* that Mulder will never win, because then they couldn't make a sequel to this single-issue drama. There is no thrill in the X-Files because the basic premise of the film (and indeed series), its ground rules, demand that ultimately nothing happens for the sake of extending the franchise. It's just aimless wandering.
Sorry to be crude, but the X-Files is like perpetual Coitus Interruptus.
The only vaguely memorable scene is Martin Landau p***ing in an alley.
There's a speech Fox Mulder makes at the end of the X-files movie which goes along the lines of "Well here we are again, we had the evidence in our hands and now we've lost it. I'm sick of it happening again, I don't want to do this any more." I felt like applauding at that point.
For me that speech was not only this film but the whole concept of the X-files in a nutshell.
Nothing of any real consequence occurs in this film, nothing at all. It's simply two FBI agents occasionally being chased, or chasing someone, or looking puzzled. They sometimes find physical evidence of a government conspiracy to do something terrible, but the evidence is without exception snatched away or destroyed (or forgotten by the writers). Sometimes we might even see the conspirators talking about these forthcoming terrible events in very vague terms. The terrible events never, ever happened in the series. However, I was hopeful that with a cinema budget they might stretch to showing an alien invasion or two. Perhaps the writers had only been teasing the audience until they had the money to give their intended cataclysm justice on the big screen. Alas, all we get is an exploding building (destroying evidence), an exploding car (destroying evidence) and some snow falling into an empty hole. Nothing you wouldn't find in a TV Movie.
The dialogue is awful too, Mulder is continuously told that he's "barely scratched the surface" of the conspiracy. I'd wager a good amount of money that he's actually gone right through the surface a long time ago and exhausted all the plot we're ever going to get out of Chris Carter. When we find out what this conspiracy involves, it's actually a very very dull mix of "Alien" and "V", about extraterrestrials conquering the earth with the help of ambitious humans with a view to feeding on human bodies. "Doctor Who" also used this plot several times over in the 60s and 70s.
In the X-Files, essentially, nothing happens, to the characters, to their status or their plans, and for the worst of reasons, because the producers want to string this franchise out for as long as they can make money from it. The aliens will never invade, but neither will Mulder ever prove to anyone that they exist, I can tell you that right now. I can also tell you that if all this *is* ever resolved in a final film or episode, it will turn out to be a disappointing cop-out.
One of the other reviewers on IMDB compared the X-Files film to Hitchcock, but Hitchcock actually satisfied his audience by showing the little guy cleverly fighting back and eventually triumphing over the dark conspiracy against him. There was methodical progression, there was movement, there was excitement, tension and engagement. Hitchcock films are thrilling because you believe the hero might win or the villain might kill him. You know the conclusion is just round the corner, whatever happens.
In the X-Files we *know* that Mulder will never be killed (the evil conspirators say they will not kill him for fear of making him a martyr). Unfortunately, we also *know* that Mulder will never win, because then they couldn't make a sequel to this single-issue drama. There is no thrill in the X-Files because the basic premise of the film (and indeed series), its ground rules, demand that ultimately nothing happens for the sake of extending the franchise. It's just aimless wandering.
Sorry to be crude, but the X-Files is like perpetual Coitus Interruptus.
The only vaguely memorable scene is Martin Landau p***ing in an alley.