Assault on Death Mountain (1999 TV Movie)
Hilariously bad – how many more of this series are there??!!
14 January 2002
Mike and his team of shadow warriors are working freelance on military operations. When Mike thinks he recognises a biochemical terrorist from his past they uncover a plot to attack Seattle. With Mike drugged with a slow poison that only terrorist Sarkisian can stop the team go out to stop the attack.

This is the second of the Shadow Warrior films and it's much worse that the first (I didn't think it was possible!). The plot is lazy - the first third about a kidnapped girl almost feels like it's just filling in the time until they get to the terrorists bit. The attempts to give Mike a past to create new action is stupid - he recognises the terrorist despite the complete plastic surgery! However the plot doesn't matter in this type of thing right? It's all about the action yeah? Face/Off had a really stretched plot but the action was amazing. Here the action is terrible - really terrible. The Shadow Warriors attack camps with typical American macho-isms - riding round on bikes and cars firing wildly. The final battle is the worst, baddies fire automatics constantly without hitting anyone but are easily taken out with one shot from the warriors. The most laughable bit is seeing Andy flying a helicopter above the action, picking people off with weapons including pistols, grenades, automatics and a rocket launcher - yes you read it right - he looks to all the world like someone leaning out the side of his friends parked car. When we watched it we were roaring with laughter all the way through it.

The acting barely matters but suffice to say it's terrible. All the Shadow Warriors are macho with a real buddy sense of humour. Hulk Hogan is terrible - the worst bit (and there's plenty) is the second half when he is poisoned and has to `look in pain' for the rest of the film - he does it by furrowing his brow and staring into the distance, it's really funny. Shannon Tweed is OK, Carl Weathers is OK but neither can do anything with the material. The only good role is Kove as Andy because his manic stuff is funny - but even his stuff gets boring and eventually you realise that he ISN'T playing it with his tongue in his cheek! The main problem with the cast is that the Shadow unit are all American caricatures who are almost invincible. However the main terrorist is English and the majority of the bad guys are foreign - even the terrorist attack is launched from Canada! This feel-good flag waving is quite tasteless to watch. I know that things like Die Hard had European terrorists etc but the way that this shows the US force as invincible moral men & women but shows the rest as stupid, cowardly and weak is insulting and lazy writing.

Overall - cheap and nasty - only enteraining because it's so stupid.
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