Review of Salem's Lot

Salem's Lot (2004)
3/10
A misfire on every level (possible spoilers)
27 June 2004
Warning: Spoilers
New Salem's Lot adaptation is surprisingly awful, in spite of its strong cast and the fact that it's based on maybe Stephen King's best horror novel.

What went wrong?

Well, let's see. While adapting the novel as a two part 4 hour (with commercials) mini-series might make sense from a business standpoint creatively it means keeping way too many unnecessary characters and subplots. This Salem's Lot has too much build up and, unfortunately, not much in the way of pay-off.

The dialogue is consistently hackneyed and unconvincing--a supposedly playful early exchange between Rob Lowe and Samantha Mathis in a diner actually made me wince. Mathis who is usually a likable and reliable actress appears particularly lost here, without the slightest idea of how to play the material. She seems to be doing an impersonation of a very bad 1950's B movie actress, which I doubt was the intention.

Rutger Hauer and Donald Sutherland are both good but neither has nearly enough screen time to register as an effective villain.

The biggest sin probably is that this version of Salem's Lot just isn't scary. The vampires aren't creepy at all and the digital effects used to create images of them flying and turning to dust upon being staked are awful and give the monsters a too artificial feeling that makes them seem more cartoon than flesh and blood threat.

The most telling scene here is the one where Danny Glick wakes to find a dead schoolmate floating outside his second floor bedroom window. This sequence was the scare highlight both of the novel and of Tobe Hooper's far better filming of the material. Here the scene isn't scary at all--there's no atmosphere, no creepiness, not much sense even that the bedroom is on the second floor. The whole scene is completely mishandled, like everything else in the movie.

Strangely, after the head vampire is dispatched the film seems to turn more into a Dawn of the Dead rip-off than a vampire film, with the remaining townspeople shuffling through the streets like zombies. I have no idea what the filmmakers thought they were doing.

My recommendation would be to avoid this crap and either read the book or rent the much better Tobe Hooper version.
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