Blackheart (1998)
1/10
Dull, cheesy and lifeless
17 February 2005
So my flatmate and I decided to watch this movie one night. It wasn't until I came to IMDb that I even realised the movie was made in 1998 - it looked SO dated, I would've easily believed it was late '80s to early '90s! Anyway, there was some confusion from the start after the couple pull off one of their shams and she (Maria) pounces on Greico's character and starts gyrating and (what we think must have been) having an orgasm. How this was achieved with clothes on, I'm not sure. It was ridiculous to watch, that's for sure.

The plot was weak and predictable but probably suited the equally weak acting as well.

The PI is terrible. Like another user said, a silly stereotype who does wear the dorky tweed hat throughout the film and is even named Holmes. Totally unoriginal character.

The acting was pretty bad and didn't set to improve throughout the movie. Maria Alonso played a good crazy woman, but I found her to be somewhat irritating too. Fiona Loewi reminded me of some kind of Courtney Cox/Alicia Silverstone hybrid - not a good mix.

All in all, I've lost moments of my life I shall never get back.

Two thumbs DOWN!
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