I find myself at an unusual loss trying to decide how to rate this film. All in all, I think I don't think I liked the film, but some of that is due to problems in the film while some stems from problems in the characterizations and the degree to which I was bothered by how the parents of the child related to him. I also think that it is ultimately a sad film that is hurt by the attempt to attach a sort of sunny "everything's gonna be OK" ending.
In parts, I think this film does a great job of portraying how a young boy, who might be effeminate or who might be gay or who might be transsexual, experiences the world as his personality begins to come into conflict with the ways in which a the world expects a young boy to behave. I think it captures well the sense of confusion and panic that can occur to any child when the sense of a warm, safe family environment is suddenly punctured when it bumps up against societal expectations --- when YOU aren't doing anything different than before, but suddenly everyone is unhappy with you.
I do feel that the reactions of the community to this child seemed over-the-top and unrealistic. The idea that the whole neighborhood would band together to ostracize a family who has a 7-year old boy who likes to wear dresses and play with dolls is hard to believe. Of course, we live in a world where in the same week, the Texas legislature can vote 135-6 to ban gay foster parents while the Connecticut Senate votes 26-8 to allow allow same-sex civil unions, so geography may be destiny, and maybe there really are parts of France where parents would sign a petition to oust an effeminate 7-year from his school and the school would agree.
To me the emotional heart of the movie was in how the parents behaved, rather than in how the child was reacting. I was horrified by many of the things they said and did (or didn't say and didn't do) to their son as the movie went on. One of things in this movie that left me sad is that, while I think we are supposed to believe at the end that all is well and that the parents have accepted their son as he is, there is really nothing in their behavior throughout the rest of the movie that helps you believe this. They both reject him so thoroughly and are ultimately so MEAN to him (especially the mother, who on more than one occasion blames him to his face for their troubles) that one has to think they will continue to do so. They seem to under-react to the freezer incident (which was, after all, a SUICIDE attempt by a 7 year old (!!!!) And, the fact that the family appears so loving and supportive in the beginning of the film (and that the other "straight" children appear happy and well-adjusted) only underscores the horror of what the their other son must be experiencing as HE is rejected by these otherwise supportive parents. But, I also felt that all of the parents' bad behavior was out-of-character given what we are otherwise shown about them in a way that suggests there is a problem with the script/characterizations.
(As an aside, I also found it odd that many conversations in the film that I would expect to take place privately took place with a larger audience - i.e. the child is present when the shrink talks about the boy's behavior, the other children are present when the parents fight about the boy, etc. But I don't know if this is bad writing or if these are just US/France cultural differences in play.)
Either way, and no matter what the end of the movie would have you think, the boy has been pretty battered by how he's been treated (especially by his parents -- it's one thing to have the world against you, but if at any age, let alone 7 years old, you don't have a safe secure home world, you're really screwed) and I don't think you get over that very easily. Heck, he MOVES OUT at the age of 7 to live with his grandmother because everyone recognizes he'll be better off there. And then is effective forced back home because the family is moving. He's lost the innocent security of childhood years before the age that most people are forced to go through that.
So, I didn't hate the movie and it had moments that felt very truthful (I loved when the psychologist tells the boy that there just may be things that his parents will never understand -- I'm just not sure he was at an age to really hear her) but there is a lot of stuff in the movie of which I am suspect and which feels contrived. If it is contrived, there's a problem, but to the extent that it's just reflecting a reality other than what I think exists, then maybe it's good. But, either way, I am bothered by the suggestion in many reviews that this is some sort of "feel-good" movie. At the end of it all, you still have a boy who has been traumatize by this family and neighbors and who is likely to continue to face similar problems for years to come.
In parts, I think this film does a great job of portraying how a young boy, who might be effeminate or who might be gay or who might be transsexual, experiences the world as his personality begins to come into conflict with the ways in which a the world expects a young boy to behave. I think it captures well the sense of confusion and panic that can occur to any child when the sense of a warm, safe family environment is suddenly punctured when it bumps up against societal expectations --- when YOU aren't doing anything different than before, but suddenly everyone is unhappy with you.
I do feel that the reactions of the community to this child seemed over-the-top and unrealistic. The idea that the whole neighborhood would band together to ostracize a family who has a 7-year old boy who likes to wear dresses and play with dolls is hard to believe. Of course, we live in a world where in the same week, the Texas legislature can vote 135-6 to ban gay foster parents while the Connecticut Senate votes 26-8 to allow allow same-sex civil unions, so geography may be destiny, and maybe there really are parts of France where parents would sign a petition to oust an effeminate 7-year from his school and the school would agree.
To me the emotional heart of the movie was in how the parents behaved, rather than in how the child was reacting. I was horrified by many of the things they said and did (or didn't say and didn't do) to their son as the movie went on. One of things in this movie that left me sad is that, while I think we are supposed to believe at the end that all is well and that the parents have accepted their son as he is, there is really nothing in their behavior throughout the rest of the movie that helps you believe this. They both reject him so thoroughly and are ultimately so MEAN to him (especially the mother, who on more than one occasion blames him to his face for their troubles) that one has to think they will continue to do so. They seem to under-react to the freezer incident (which was, after all, a SUICIDE attempt by a 7 year old (!!!!) And, the fact that the family appears so loving and supportive in the beginning of the film (and that the other "straight" children appear happy and well-adjusted) only underscores the horror of what the their other son must be experiencing as HE is rejected by these otherwise supportive parents. But, I also felt that all of the parents' bad behavior was out-of-character given what we are otherwise shown about them in a way that suggests there is a problem with the script/characterizations.
(As an aside, I also found it odd that many conversations in the film that I would expect to take place privately took place with a larger audience - i.e. the child is present when the shrink talks about the boy's behavior, the other children are present when the parents fight about the boy, etc. But I don't know if this is bad writing or if these are just US/France cultural differences in play.)
Either way, and no matter what the end of the movie would have you think, the boy has been pretty battered by how he's been treated (especially by his parents -- it's one thing to have the world against you, but if at any age, let alone 7 years old, you don't have a safe secure home world, you're really screwed) and I don't think you get over that very easily. Heck, he MOVES OUT at the age of 7 to live with his grandmother because everyone recognizes he'll be better off there. And then is effective forced back home because the family is moving. He's lost the innocent security of childhood years before the age that most people are forced to go through that.
So, I didn't hate the movie and it had moments that felt very truthful (I loved when the psychologist tells the boy that there just may be things that his parents will never understand -- I'm just not sure he was at an age to really hear her) but there is a lot of stuff in the movie of which I am suspect and which feels contrived. If it is contrived, there's a problem, but to the extent that it's just reflecting a reality other than what I think exists, then maybe it's good. But, either way, I am bothered by the suggestion in many reviews that this is some sort of "feel-good" movie. At the end of it all, you still have a boy who has been traumatize by this family and neighbors and who is likely to continue to face similar problems for years to come.