2/10
"It only looks like a monster, but it's really cute."
5 October 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I haven't seen a lot of Japanese monster movies myself, basically just the original king daddy "Godzilla", and a handful of knockoffs with creatures like Gamera and Rodan. However I don't think I'd be wrong in stating that "Monster From a Prehistoric Planet" must certainly be near the bottom of the pile in terms of story line and quality. A South Seas expedition financed by "Playmate Magazine" comes upon a volcanic island with large stone statues from a lost civilization; their mission is to locate and capture exotic animals for a tropical resort where the creatures roam freely with the guests.

Following the discovery of a giant egg in an underground cave, an earthquake erupts hatching the young "gappa", a birdlike reptile. Mom and Pop Gappa are profoundly PO'ed, and make the trek to the Japanese mainland to recover Junior, and in one of the more humorous translations of the film, make their way along Route 11 from Nikko to Tokyo in the process. Picture a pair of giant scaly walking parrots, and you have an idea of of what the Gappas look like.

I was rather surprised to hear an exchange between expedition leader Kurosaki and female newspaper reporter Koyanagi. When Koyanagi expresses reservation about proceeding into the gappa's lair, she's admonished by Kurosaki - "Then go back to Tokyo and learn to cook, marry some little office worker, have babies, stay home and wash diapers". Apparently she took that advice, for at the end of the film she quits her job, as Kurosaki chases her down to complete his own personal mission.

OK, this may not be the worst movie I have ever seen, but right now it ranks second from the bottom, right behind "The Beast From Yucca Flats". Save yourself the agony and just watch "Godzilla" one more time if you need a Japanese monster fix; for maximum effect, play it in slow motion to match "Monster's..." pacing.
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