I'm going to take a break from my stream of horror movie reviews to analyze another piece of fine art...
For some reason I've decided to watch Anna Nicole Smith: Exposed! on Showtime this evening. When it opens, Anna is just waking up in bed, with the usual fake lashes, fake mole and three inches of make-up schlepped on her face (ahhh... the natural look!)... "Every morning I masturbate... A refreshing wake-up...What a great way to start the day!" Whoa! Next thing I know she's in a bubble bath with her "maid" going to town and then talking in her third-grade educated twangy Texas voice about how "personal" oral sex is while lopping cream off a strawberry. I'm waiting for her to accidentally smudge her fake Marilyn "beauty mark" right off her cheek, but no such luck. True artistry at work, I tell ya. But as a big fan of the train wreck that was the Anna Nicole show, I can't stop watching this... In between the sex scenes, we get Anna modeling sessions, Anna blowing bubbles, Anna confessing her ridiculous sex fantasies into an RKO-style radio microphones, Anna lying in bed rubbing her silicone mounds, Anna moaning like like she's standing at the end of 50 foot tunnel and much more. So yes... This is basically Anna Nicole Does Soft Core. Some of the scenes are great, especially if you're an Anna Nicole fan and there are long clips from her action movie TO THE LIMIT (1995), but the best thing is listening to Anna Nicole fumbling at reciting her "sexy" dialog.
For some reason I've decided to watch Anna Nicole Smith: Exposed! on Showtime this evening. When it opens, Anna is just waking up in bed, with the usual fake lashes, fake mole and three inches of make-up schlepped on her face (ahhh... the natural look!)... "Every morning I masturbate... A refreshing wake-up...What a great way to start the day!" Whoa! Next thing I know she's in a bubble bath with her "maid" going to town and then talking in her third-grade educated twangy Texas voice about how "personal" oral sex is while lopping cream off a strawberry. I'm waiting for her to accidentally smudge her fake Marilyn "beauty mark" right off her cheek, but no such luck. True artistry at work, I tell ya. But as a big fan of the train wreck that was the Anna Nicole show, I can't stop watching this... In between the sex scenes, we get Anna modeling sessions, Anna blowing bubbles, Anna confessing her ridiculous sex fantasies into an RKO-style radio microphones, Anna lying in bed rubbing her silicone mounds, Anna moaning like like she's standing at the end of 50 foot tunnel and much more. So yes... This is basically Anna Nicole Does Soft Core. Some of the scenes are great, especially if you're an Anna Nicole fan and there are long clips from her action movie TO THE LIMIT (1995), but the best thing is listening to Anna Nicole fumbling at reciting her "sexy" dialog.