There is only one convincing scene in this attempt at a thriller-family sitcom hybrid. That's the opening one where Vin Diesel gets to be a Navy SEAL on a rescue mission and blow up lots of bad guys. Once he gets saddled with this family of kids to guard (I've honestly already forgotten just how many there were), he appears to wish he were in ANY movie except this one -- and so do they! The plot, such as it is, involves a hodge-podge of suburban ninjas (yes, really), hidden vaults and honest-looking betrayers. Don't bother trying to figure it out. The only exception to this cinematic disaster is Max Thieriot, who is quite good as the sulky teenager. I hate judging by appearances, but he has these deep-set dark eyes that make you just expect his character to express profound thoughts, or at least dark ones. Unfortunately for him, this film is not worth watching.
Review of The Pacifier
