3/10
Half Baywatch, Half Ken Park, 100% Boring
15 August 2006
Warning: Spoilers
WARNING - SPOILERS!!

Three Dancing Slaves tells the (incoherent) story of three brothers - one living on the border of crime, the second - an ex con trying to make good after a stint in jail, the third - a gay teenager in love with an Arab into Capoeira dancing.

There are a lot of scenes in this that are reminiscent of those perv-y scenes from Baywatch - lots of buff, sexy men splashing around in water in slow-mo - total eye candy galore.

Then there are a lot of scenes which are completely confronting and dumbfounding (eg: quasi-incest scene, dog in bath with naked man) - a la Ken Park.

But I found that I just couldn't connect with any of these characters. The "plot" is way too strange for the viewer to have a grasp on what's going on (eg: quasi-incest scene, scene with a biker having sex with a transvestite, dog attack scene). The biker brother is just so strange and off-putting as a human being - you just don't have any sympathy for him at the end of the film. The gay couple is fairly underbaked and the viewer is left confused when the Arab boyfriend leaves the gay brother - unexpectedly and for no substantial reason.

Also bewildering is the homoeroticism - the movie is made up of 99% male characters - all cavorting in homoerotic behaviour (eg: gym, splashing around, getting shaved) - yet most of them are supposed to be straight. It sort of felt like they were pandering for a high "gay eye candy". It felt like at times you were watching a David DeCoteau film.

My verdict - don't bother with this eye-candy heavy film - you are probably better off watching pron or a David DeCoteau film instead (at least David DeCoteau films have better plots!)!
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