1/10
Never Ever Have I Seen Such Crap
16 October 2006
This film followed the same plot as "Thunderball", so it was basically a remake. The opening sequence was ludicrous, as James Bond was revealed to have been training for a commando raid instead of actually accomplishing one. The entire movie, when compared with "Thunderball", seemed very cheesy in every regard. "Thunderball" was possibly the best Bond flick . It seemed to have a big budget, was very well cast, and was well-paced. "Never Say Never Again" was lacking in each of these aspects. Even James Bond's jet pack seemed like a bargain basement model when compared to the one he wore in "Thunderball", filmed nearly twenty years earlier.

This film was a horrible mess from beginning to end. Connery at 52 looked and acted like a man of 65. Kim Bassinger seemed to be on antidepressants; very heavily medicated. Barbara Carrera seemed to have zero sex appeal - just a big-mouthed, crabby slut. The part where the "Flying Saucer" (what a dumb name for a yacht, compared to the "Disco Volante" of "Thunderball) took off from the Caribbean to the Middle East was so dumb. Bond using a wristwatch laser to free himself from handcuffs was so juvenile. Above all, hot young women swooning over sixtyish-looking Connery was ridiculous. Yeah, I could see them being hot for him in 1965 when he was a stud, but he looks like the type of old geezer none of these women would even notice.

The soundtrack sounded like music from a fashion show, rather than the James Bond themes we're used to. I will say that Bernie Casey was good as Felix Leiter. I will forever wonder how a James Bond flick could be such a laughably hideous piece of trash.
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