Review of Room 6

Room 6 (2006)
5/10
Room 6? More Like Room Sucks...
7 December 2006
A woman and her boyfriend get into a car accident. After the man is taken by ambulance to an unknown location, the woman (Christine Taylor) goes on a hunt to find him along with her new friend (Jerry O'Connell) -- along the way encountering demons for some reason.

I am sad to report that Christine Taylor makes for a very weak leading lady. I loved her in "Dodgeball" and "My Name is Earl", but for some reason she comes across as very flighty here (more in the first half than in the second). Is she not capable of drama? Is acting scared just not something she can do? I don't know, but I was let down. (I'm still jealous of Ben Stiller for having such a hot wife, though.) The early parts of the film are very tedious. There is lots of empty, repetitive dialogue (both in the opening hospital scene, and shortly after when Amy is getting picked up from school). The less each person says, the better the scenes are in this movie. Unfortunately, in the first ten minutes no one will shut up long enough to let the movie have a solid start. (The phrase "I'm awake" probably is said no less than twenty-five times in the first five minutes.) What I found also odd was that although the makeup was decent (the demons looked like demons), the special effects were not very impressive. Rather than use a trick syringe for an injection, for example, they slid the syringe under the sleeve of a patient. Maybe I'm picky and the average viewer wouldn't notice, but I felt cheated.

Now, the scenery was nice. The abandoned hospital, the ambulances, the demons. There is a scene with vampire lesbians (or something like that) which I thought was quite alright, although it was more of a tease than anything.

Somebody decided to cast Jerry O'Connell, and I'd like to know whom that was. In all fairness, Jerry was a better actor in this film than Christine Taylor. But he just calls to mind crappy films like "Tom Cats" and the show "Sliders". I like Sliders, but this guy is a cheesy actor. He's right up there with Brendan Fraser. His very presence makes a movie's suck factor increase. This one was no exception.

Horror icon Kane Hodder (better known as Jason Voorhees) shows up to be a demon bum. I enjoyed seeing Kane Hodder, but the part was not important and could have been played by pretty much anyone. (And really, if you're casting for a bum, get someone who's bum-looking, not a weightlifter.) I will give the Best Actress award in this film to the little girl named Melissa (played by Chloe Moretz). She actually had my full attention when she was on the screen, like everything she said or did was crucial. Excellent. Moretz is becoming what I would call "the Dakota Fanning of horror", because she seems to be the person you call when you need a little girl. (Moretz has so far also appeared in "Wicked Little Things" and "Amityville Horror".) My biggest problem with this movie, besides the poor acting and weak production value, was I was constantly asking myself: did any of this add up? Demons, lesbian vampires, a hospital that doesn't exist, ambulances that steal loved ones. The film makes some attempt to explain this, but that attempt is incredibly weak and I was left trying to piece things together. But I felt like I opened a 500-piece puzzle and 700 pieces fell out. What the heck? 2006 has offered some quality horror films. "Slither", "Feast" and "Saw 3" just to name some off the top of my head. "Room 6" is not one of them, so unless you spend most of your free time watching really crappy movies (like I obviously do), don't pick this one up.
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