Bratz (2007)
1/10
Aaaaugh! My Eyes! My Ears! My Brain! All Ruined!
8 September 2007
Aaaaaaauuuugh!!!! This movie was so awful it makes me wish I had been struck blind and deaf as a child! I watched it with 2 friends, to try for an MST3K style viewing but.... it doesn't work!!! One of my friends became very still, and started attracting flies halfway through the film, and another one became temporarily quadriplegic from watching this! I'm 20... I haven't cried for any reason since I was 12, and this movie brought me to tears. Not from laughter, not sadness... it was SO bad, I had no emotions that could be connected to this film, and I just started crying because nothing else quite fit. If these people tried to perform like this two thousand years ago, they would have been stoned to death. The acting was so terrible, I think I lost my faith in mankind. The materialism in this movie was so... I can't even think of an adequate adjective to describe it... No wonder there are countries that want to see our way of life crumble... after seeing this movie, I almost agree with them. The MST3K guys would be speechless, watching this. It's so awful, no one could possibly lampoon this movie. It's too terrible to properly mock and satirize. I feel really terrible for the companies that sponsored this. They really lost out on this investment. The attempts at throwing in messages about individualism and inner strength would have worked, if there hadn't been the "be yourself, but dress fashionably to be accepted" message splayed across this film like roadkill. It's a good thing I didn't have any forks, or acetylene torches nearby... or I would have tried to stab/burn my brain out. I seriously considered gnawing my own leg off several times, to escape watching this film. I actually lost the ability to breathe after about 40 minutes of this film... I eventually remembered how, but it took a while. Not good... My roommate has completely lost his mind... he asks questions like, if Darth Vader showed up at our door, should we hang out with him, and some remarks about hollowed out breasts and orange juice... he's completely lost his mind.

Don't watch this movie if you value your sanity!!!
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