The Garage (2006)
3/10
Watching Bolts Turn
9 September 2007
Warning: Spoilers
Great cast (except for one huge exception) and some nice shots of a beautiful landscape, but otherwise this movie is enormously flawed.

Why am I going out of my way to write a critique? Am I just mean? Perhaps, but I have some thoughts that I think are worth sharing, or at least I have a bone to pick because I feel I am owed some time back.

This story is unbelievably boring. It is like watching concrete grow or like watching bolts turn. Hardly anything of interest happens. The only compelling aspect is the family's predicament, but sadly that isn't the focus, and it doesn't satisfactorily change.

Any time something seemingly central is about to happen, something else unrelated and peripheral happens instead.

There is no cause and effect. When the main character finds his dad among a group of men sharing a hooker, he does nothing, which is weird. That would be the perfect time for the main character to rethink his loyalty to his dad, which would help him decide to agree to leave town right away. The central conflict is that the main character's best friend wants to leave town as soon as possible, and the main character doesn't quite yet. His excuse is that he wants to help out his dad. Once he finds out that his dad isn't the man he thought he was, he should change his mind.

Also, the main character's best friend says he needs to get out of town because he can no longer withstand his father's abuse. It would be so much more powerful if he is ultimately beaten to incapacitation by his father, rather than being hit by a car. His father is the looming danger. Having his father beat him to death would make the rising stakes culminate, and it would make the main character's plea "Just one more week..." so much more meaningful.

There are peripheral and loose ends that never tie in. This movie needs to be much tighter.

Compounding the torture of the boring story, the plot flaws and the dangling ends is the unbelievably awful performance by the actress Tania Ramonde. Her performance might be the worst on-screen performance I have seen in years, if not ever.

I don't blame her; I blame the director.

How could the director think that her oddly wandering eyes and contrived "sensuality" (I put it in quotes because I do not find her to be sexy at all) are pleasing to either the story or to an audience's eyes? I had to hide my eyes. I really did.

Also, her character just appears out of nowhere. Why is she walking around this strange and desolate town all alone so late at night? Why is she dressed like she lives in modern day Beverly Hills? And if this town is so small, how come she and the main character do not know each other before this night when she just walks up out of the darkness?

This brings me to another point about the setting: Where are the stores and the cars and the people? Was this project so low budget that they couldn't afford any props or extras? It's like a ghost town, except without the ghosts.

In summary, I care about the plight of the family, and I think that most of the acting is quite admirable. I just think that the story is clichéd, boring and long-winded and the acting by the ingénue is...I won't be rude and say it again because I don't want to burst her bubble. Like I said, I blame the director.

All in all, I give this movie a 3.
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