The Burning (1981)
4/10
Friday the 13th without the scares
25 September 2007
This movie is crap.

Let's get what's 'good' about this movie out of the way first: Tom Savini did the special effects and he did a pretty good job. There's a couple of scenes of full frontal nudity. You get to see some annoying kids get violently dispatched.

The problem is it's nothing new and nothing special. It felt like the Weinstein's wrote the script after reading Slasher Films For Dummies. If the only slasher movie you've seen before this one is the original Friday the 13th, you can still predict everything that will happen. This movie isn't even a copy of Friday the 13th. It's a copy of a copy. It felt like the people making this movie didn't like or understand horror movies. They hit all the right notes for a slasher movie without seeming to understand the genre. It's no surprise that these guys would later head up Dimension films and churn out endless Screams, Final Destinations and I Know What You Did Last Summers.

When you think about it, there's no rhyme or reason for anything that happens in this movie. An angry guy picks a bunch of kids at random and bumps them off. No, never mind. That sounds like the plot to an okay movie at least. There is zero suspense or tension in this flick. For the first forty minutes or so at camp, NOTHING happens. This time isn't used to foreshadow anything or establish the killer's motivation or anything. Just a half hour or so of weird looking kids at summer camp. At the end they sort of try to tie it back to the beginning, but when the big 'revelation' happens, you realize that even though you as a viewer can see a connection, the killer wouldn't have this info.

I don't know. Most of the other reviews I've read for this movie are pretty enthusiastic, so maybe it's me. But aside from the over-the-top violence and copious nudity, this film was a total letdown. And is it just me, or are garden shears just sort of a goofy weapon?
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