1/10
you have to draw the line somewhere
18 October 2007
I daresay I am very fond of B or even Z movies. Westerns, sci-fi, horror, fantasy, you name it. I've seen quite a lot of movies ranging from bad to very bad, with an occasional gem flirting with the 'execrable' mark. However, this thing was simply out of scale. It is neither the gaping plot holes, pitiful lines, inept sets nor below 80's D&D scenario storyline. I think it is the way all actors without exception seemed not only bored but plainly ashamed of being immortalized in such a lame show.

They are all, without exception, amazingly clumsy, slow, and boring. I still wonder what coaxed Carradine into this piece of junk - trouble with the IRS maybe ? But the worst disappointment came from the lame performance of Captain Spaulding, head of the unforgettable dysfunctional family of the house of 1000 corpses and the devil's rejects. Yes, this movie even managed to bore the flamboyant Z movie star Sid Haig into near-catatonia. Not a small feat in itself, if you like that sort of things.

Add a terribly annoying soundtrack with garbled voices and very loud out of sync "background" music (in all fairness that last bit could have been due to the appalling state of the venerable VHS tape) and you get something that managed to defeat my unusually high tolerance for *really* cheap movies.

Not even worth a rent unless you invest in enough booze to wash away this tedium.
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