I wish I'd never watched the Pocahontas sequel. Seriously. I've watched most of the Disney sequels, and while, yes, most of them are awful (though there are some rare exceptions - Bambi II is adorable), but that movie is just...beyond awful.
You can't mess with history in the original movie and then change your mind and try to set it right in a direct-to-video sequel.
Yes, in reality she ended up with John Rolfe, but -bleep- reality. I don't want reality. When I sit down to watch a Disney movie I want to get lost in a world where every princess gets her (ORIGINAL) Disney hero. I REALLY don't like new dudes with ZERO personality coming in and nabbing the princess just because "that's how it REALLY happened".
Likewise, when I read the original "The Little Mermaid" by the great Hans Christan Anderson I adore the tragic ending, but when I'm watching Disney I wouldn't want to see Ariel go ahead and toy with the idea of making a Prince-Kebab out of Eric. Do you follow? Yes, John Smith was far older and Pocahontas was years shy of puberty. I know in reality their relationship was platonic, but dude, making Disney!Smith out to be a complete arse just so that they could justify her waltzing off with Rolfe was a crappy move.
Who have we to thank for this? The history buffs who -beeped- and moaned when the original was released. I wonder if the same history buffs -beeped- and moaned when Ariel didn't die at the end of "The Little Mermaid".
I digress.
What happened to "I'd rather die tomorrow than live a hundred years without knowing you"? What happened to "no matter what happens, I'll always be with you, forever"?
"We walked the same path once. Now I know where I belong."
Just stamp on my childhood a little more, Disney. :(
There are enough horrendously complex and painful things in the real world without kids movies (yes, I do know that's what they are) getting corrupted by "how things REALLY are". Little girls will soon realise that not everybody gets their prince charming. Do we really have to let them in on this early?
Thank goodness "The Little Mermaid III" is going to be the last direct-to-vid sequel.
You can't mess with history in the original movie and then change your mind and try to set it right in a direct-to-video sequel.
Yes, in reality she ended up with John Rolfe, but -bleep- reality. I don't want reality. When I sit down to watch a Disney movie I want to get lost in a world where every princess gets her (ORIGINAL) Disney hero. I REALLY don't like new dudes with ZERO personality coming in and nabbing the princess just because "that's how it REALLY happened".
Likewise, when I read the original "The Little Mermaid" by the great Hans Christan Anderson I adore the tragic ending, but when I'm watching Disney I wouldn't want to see Ariel go ahead and toy with the idea of making a Prince-Kebab out of Eric. Do you follow? Yes, John Smith was far older and Pocahontas was years shy of puberty. I know in reality their relationship was platonic, but dude, making Disney!Smith out to be a complete arse just so that they could justify her waltzing off with Rolfe was a crappy move.
Who have we to thank for this? The history buffs who -beeped- and moaned when the original was released. I wonder if the same history buffs -beeped- and moaned when Ariel didn't die at the end of "The Little Mermaid".
I digress.
What happened to "I'd rather die tomorrow than live a hundred years without knowing you"? What happened to "no matter what happens, I'll always be with you, forever"?
"We walked the same path once. Now I know where I belong."
Just stamp on my childhood a little more, Disney. :(
There are enough horrendously complex and painful things in the real world without kids movies (yes, I do know that's what they are) getting corrupted by "how things REALLY are". Little girls will soon realise that not everybody gets their prince charming. Do we really have to let them in on this early?
Thank goodness "The Little Mermaid III" is going to be the last direct-to-vid sequel.