~Spoiler~
More like PRAY for the viewers! The man that brought us Soccer Dog: The Movie is back with Timber Falls. And it's one big Texas Chainsaw Massacre cliché after another. Crazed hillbillies: check. Deformed lunatic with a signature weapon: check. People you think you can trust but later turn out to be evil: double check. I have a hard time believing the good buzz that made me rent this awful flick. I could almost understand a decent review from people who had never seen ANY backwoods slasher flick. But some credible sources were saying this was good??? Well let me set the record straight folks. Timber Falls sucks. Here's three humorous reasons why. Number 1: The villains are torturing the characters under their house. The lead baddie tells them to scream all they want because they are thirty feet underground and no one can here them. Later in the film, whilst thirty feet underground where no one can hear you scream, the villain here's a pane of glass break from the upstairs door. Number 2: If you unload a double barrel shotgun at point blank range at someone's face, there will be no head left on their corpse. Number 3: The "one year later" ending commits the ultimate slasher film cliché and has the long dead killer (from one year ago no less) pop back up for one last scare. There are many other, more obvious reasons not to see Timber Falls. Trust me, you've seen this film a thousand times. And you've seen it a thousand times better.
More like PRAY for the viewers! The man that brought us Soccer Dog: The Movie is back with Timber Falls. And it's one big Texas Chainsaw Massacre cliché after another. Crazed hillbillies: check. Deformed lunatic with a signature weapon: check. People you think you can trust but later turn out to be evil: double check. I have a hard time believing the good buzz that made me rent this awful flick. I could almost understand a decent review from people who had never seen ANY backwoods slasher flick. But some credible sources were saying this was good??? Well let me set the record straight folks. Timber Falls sucks. Here's three humorous reasons why. Number 1: The villains are torturing the characters under their house. The lead baddie tells them to scream all they want because they are thirty feet underground and no one can here them. Later in the film, whilst thirty feet underground where no one can hear you scream, the villain here's a pane of glass break from the upstairs door. Number 2: If you unload a double barrel shotgun at point blank range at someone's face, there will be no head left on their corpse. Number 3: The "one year later" ending commits the ultimate slasher film cliché and has the long dead killer (from one year ago no less) pop back up for one last scare. There are many other, more obvious reasons not to see Timber Falls. Trust me, you've seen this film a thousand times. And you've seen it a thousand times better.