Oh. Dear. Lord. This movie is painful to watch.
After a failed bank heist, Mary and Some Guy Whose Name I Don't Think Ever Gets Mentioned (so, of course, he lives through pretty much the whole movie) scream at each other for what feels like hours (but, seeing as the movie's only 85 minutes long, it's probably only a little more than an hour) about how everything got screwed up. Mary and Some Guy even change their arguments and switch sides repeatedly, just so they'll be able to keep screaming at each other. It's like Revolutionary Road but without the capable actors.
(And why is it every time there's a Mary in a horror movie, she's a bitch? Jerry always dies and Mary's always a bitch.)
Anyway, eventually they have to save Some Lady and her daughter Courtney from a guy who's going around killing people (including the bank heist partner who kidnapped Some Lady and Courtney). The whole masked killer aspect of the movie is an afterthought to Mary and Some Guy's shouting matches. 'Cause people watch horror movies to watch people argue, obviously.
First of all, I figured out who the killer was before the movie even really started. Oops. Next time, guys, don't hammer obvious answers in our faces.
Second of all, there's a character we see at age six and age seventeen. At six his eyes are such a dark brown they're almost black. At seventeen his eyes are almost bluer than mine. People's eyes don't change colors; have the filmmakers never heard of vanity contact lenses?
Third of all, are we supposed to be rooting for Mary and Some Guy? 'Cause I hate them. Mary especially, but Some Guy is no picnic. And their relationship is ill defined. I think they're supposed to be a couple because in the scene that introduces them Mary kisses Some Guy's neck a couple of times. If it weren't for that, though, I would have never made the connection because they don't seem to like each other at all. And it really, really rings false when Some Guy is all sad when he finds out Mary's been killed. You'd think he'd be relieved that she isn't around to insult him anymore. I know I was relieved.
My last big complaint about the movie is that it ends and then there's about five minutes of unnecessary exposition. And then there's another ending featuring two jump scares, one of which shouldn't have been.
Okay, sorry, no, I have one more big complaint about the movie. All the parts that would have been actually pretty atmospheric and creepy are completely squashed by obnoxious jump chords, just so the audience knows absolutely for sure something creepy is going on. It's as though the filmmakers don't trust their viewers enough to see what's going on, so they put a blast of music in there for good measure. Unfortunately, all that did was destroy any moment that would have been effective.
Jump chords aren't scary, people. They're annoying, and they force reactions. I hate jump chords. They're proof that filmmakers think their audience is stupid.
After a failed bank heist, Mary and Some Guy Whose Name I Don't Think Ever Gets Mentioned (so, of course, he lives through pretty much the whole movie) scream at each other for what feels like hours (but, seeing as the movie's only 85 minutes long, it's probably only a little more than an hour) about how everything got screwed up. Mary and Some Guy even change their arguments and switch sides repeatedly, just so they'll be able to keep screaming at each other. It's like Revolutionary Road but without the capable actors.
(And why is it every time there's a Mary in a horror movie, she's a bitch? Jerry always dies and Mary's always a bitch.)
Anyway, eventually they have to save Some Lady and her daughter Courtney from a guy who's going around killing people (including the bank heist partner who kidnapped Some Lady and Courtney). The whole masked killer aspect of the movie is an afterthought to Mary and Some Guy's shouting matches. 'Cause people watch horror movies to watch people argue, obviously.
First of all, I figured out who the killer was before the movie even really started. Oops. Next time, guys, don't hammer obvious answers in our faces.
Second of all, there's a character we see at age six and age seventeen. At six his eyes are such a dark brown they're almost black. At seventeen his eyes are almost bluer than mine. People's eyes don't change colors; have the filmmakers never heard of vanity contact lenses?
Third of all, are we supposed to be rooting for Mary and Some Guy? 'Cause I hate them. Mary especially, but Some Guy is no picnic. And their relationship is ill defined. I think they're supposed to be a couple because in the scene that introduces them Mary kisses Some Guy's neck a couple of times. If it weren't for that, though, I would have never made the connection because they don't seem to like each other at all. And it really, really rings false when Some Guy is all sad when he finds out Mary's been killed. You'd think he'd be relieved that she isn't around to insult him anymore. I know I was relieved.
My last big complaint about the movie is that it ends and then there's about five minutes of unnecessary exposition. And then there's another ending featuring two jump scares, one of which shouldn't have been.
Okay, sorry, no, I have one more big complaint about the movie. All the parts that would have been actually pretty atmospheric and creepy are completely squashed by obnoxious jump chords, just so the audience knows absolutely for sure something creepy is going on. It's as though the filmmakers don't trust their viewers enough to see what's going on, so they put a blast of music in there for good measure. Unfortunately, all that did was destroy any moment that would have been effective.
Jump chords aren't scary, people. They're annoying, and they force reactions. I hate jump chords. They're proof that filmmakers think their audience is stupid.