10/10
Part of the exclusive and very special club of films that I want to watch from the start again as soon as the end credits have rolled.
30 March 2009
I am aware that there is a book of The Three Musketeers, but I haven't read it, so it doesn't matter...what matters is the film itself.

Now, as I have made absolutely clear in the summary above, there are a few movies that are so good that I feel like re-watching them as soon as the credits role. And as I have made clear blahdeblahdeblah...this is one.

The atmosphere is mad and more fun than a barrel of chimpanzees on LSD. The underground dungeons with flaming torches and people sticking their arms through the sardine-like grids and the eeeeeeeeeeevil villains who are shown as ruthless from the word go, are textbook cheese, and just what is needed in this film.

Straight away, we are thrown into the action, with some very pleasant surprises. Chris O Donnell as the hotheaded D'Artagnian, Keifer Sutherland as the (fairly) straight-headed Athos, Oliver Platt as the bonkers but ingenious Porthos (with tricks up his sleeve that come out of nowhere such as a triple-bladed dagger), Charlie Sheen as the religious Aramis, the beautiful Julie Delpy as lady-in-waiting constance, Tim Curry and Michael Wincott as the classic bad guy double-act (with evil villain and secondary baddie with eyepatch), even Paul McGann in a hilarious double-role, sometimes playing a leader in the Cardinal's guard, but mostly playing a wuss who has it in the neck about his sister's 'honour' with D'Artagnian (and was clearly never breastfed by his mother). Not to mention the hilarious mullet that Hugh O Connor sports as the king of France!

The entire film consists of swinging thin swords about, jumping onto moving carts and up and down walls while swinging said swords, meeting beautiful women, and with an exciting climax at the end. If you've read the book, good for you. I hope you enjoyed it. But if you're devoted to it, then avoid any contact with this film. It's action all out romp where the brain does not have to work hard, but just sits back, relaxes, and escapes. If you want deep 'real-life' and 'gritty' stuff, then forget it. This film has none of that. Good vs bad, simple as that.

I'll be honest, I deeply loathe, despise and detest Disney Fairy stories (though animations such as Toy Story and The Lion King get a thumbs-up from me). Having said that though, the mouse house do a damn fine line up in feel-good action romps such as this one and Pirates of the Caribbean, and if you disagree then dive head first into a hospital surgery bin.
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