Review of 2:22

2:22 (2008)
3/10
2:22 - ½
24 December 2009
Warning: Spoilers
By all the powers invested in me, could it be I am too dense to understand this movie?

Could it be the noir theme that clouded my vision and imagination so that at 2:22, I saw but did not see?

Could it be the continuous cold weather and snow of the movie, which reminded me of those dreary, lethargic days I spent in Russia years ago, opaqued my fiery spirit and made me slow to understand? Could it be the story was written in such a way that I kept leaping from one screen to the next looking for the missing links to put it all together? I understood, when beginning to watch the film, that this was a story about a heist gone bad, in fact, incomprehensibly wrong. But why? I couldn't tell; reasons were hard to grasp. For example, the story wishes to tell me that due to a couple of very small coincidences all hell broke loose, things that could easily have been even overlooked. Come on, now, unless the characters were possessed by some supernatural instinct, I do not see how they could have pieced things so quickly and accurately?

Why exactly do we point at 2:22, when the time in question had little to do with the main story?

The four main characters were supposed to be good thieves, going after highly valued jewelry and such. How exactly did they happen to know that The Grange Hotel would have all its safety deposit boxes loaded with goods on the night of New Year's Eve? I looked and looked at 2:22, but still at 2:23, SAW NOTHING!

The grunge/new age music was good, yes, it lent an eerie effect to the movie, especially due to its dark nature. But then, why did we have Clair DeLune playing in the background during almost half the film? It became annoying after a while.

The acting was one of the weakest points. None of the characters stood out, not even Val Kilmer in his role as the fence, which was pretty lame, I must add, considering Kilmer has played some major roles in the past. Most of the time I felt the people were waiting to be cued in so they could say their lines, because that's all they did - just say the lines. I remember at one point saying: "what is happening here? what's he doing? I'm lost". This looks like someone trying to put Max Payne together with The Usual Suspects. Honestly, Gabriel Bryne did nothing here, except look older, fatter, and tired.

So, I call it 2:22 minus ½ (if there is such a time), because it was neither funny, nor logical, nor thrilling, nor dramatic, nor ... Aww, heck, you watch it if you want, and then tell me if I missed something at 2:22. For the life of me, I'm still looking but cannot see it.
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