1/10
Adios, William Beaudine.
28 January 2010
Warning: Spoilers
Actually it's not Frankenstein's daughter, it's his granddaughter. Not that it makes any difference. Why should it make any difference? Nothing in this cheap, parting shot from the never-estimable William Beaudine makes any difference.

The opening shows us Narda Onyx and Steven Geray, two mad scientists in their laboratory in a tiny Western town, fulminating over their need for new brains and bodies to create life.

Then there is a long story about Jesse James, played by John Lupton, whom I remember only as "Sister" Marion in "Battle Cry." He was the upright Marine who was going to write the great American novel. His close friend, Cal Bolder, a refugee from Muscle Beach, is wounded in a shoot out with grim, determined, humorless marshal Jim Davis.

A feisty Latina, Estelita, leads them to the nearest doctors, who are of course the Frankenstein couple. They put a new brain into the wounded Cal Bolder and attempt the same with Jesse James but Estelita steps in at the last minute and saves his bacon.

Estelita is a petite and very attractive Cuban lady. She was the wife of Carlito, the hotel manager, in "Rio Bravo," and was pretty good. Here she emotes to beat the band.

She can't save this movie, though. Nothing could, not even Joe Bob Briggs' commentary on the DVD. I can hardly bring myself to believe that anyone really went to a drive-in movie to watch a dismal feature like this. Who was it aimed at? The only human being who could find it in any way impressive would have to be an Australian aborigine from the central desert who had never heard of movies.

Of course the sets were cheap, but that's not enough of an excuse. You can do a lot on a tiny budget, as Val Lewton showed us at RKO, and as other producers and directors proved elsewhere. Here, the writing stinks. The plot makes no sense. The actors wear the same clothes in every scene.

It's not bad in a way that evokes laughter. Like John Wayne's rabidly mesomorphic "The Conqueror," a few minutes of it will satisfy your curiosity. The remaining hour and a half constitute torture.
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