Review of Bitch Slap

Bitch Slap (2009)
1/10
A perfect example of how to fail at the exploitation genre
17 March 2010
It just goes to show no matter how low you set the bar, incompetence can still make you come up short. This film is so bad I actually had to start an IMDb account to let people know just how terrible it really is.

The reality is, it wouldn't have taken much for this to be a decent film. The box cover promises sex and violence and delivers far too little on both. The cheesy direction, bad acting, bad dialogue and low- budget effects are laughable...and that would normally be okay! It's exactly what's expected. All the film had to do was deliver on the action and skin. The film gets a 3 out of 10 for the action and a big 0 for the skin. Was this film made for the Spike channel? There's NO NUDITY in this film to speak of despite the fact that it's exactly what the box promises. Yes, three, hot vixens in an exploitation movie and none of them get naked. There are hotter sex scenes in the 10 pm network TV slot. How does a director fail this badly? And the "unrated" label was just another ploy to let the viewer think they're getting something edgy. Either that or the money man saw how bad the film is and wouldn't pony up a few grand more for an MPAA rating.

If there was a filmmaker jail, Jacobson would be on death row. Shameful.
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