Think of all the worst films you've ever watched. Think of all the thoughtless scripts, awful scores, flat humour, ugly cinematography and cringe-worthy acting you've ever witnessed. Pretty bad eh? Now, you might be ready to watch 'Cut'. A warning to you though, you'll still be disappointed. Unless, of course, you're the enemy of creativity or you're one of those people who hates film (like the team behind this surely do).
The basic plot; it's late at night, a group of friends are staying in a remote house in the countryside and they get terrorised by some psychopaths. Admittedly, with a premise like that, you're not going to expect anything groundbreaking, but it's no excuse for this garbage.
You don't care what happens to any of the characters. They're hollow, their interactions unbelievable and their actions stupid. If they're so scared why do they constantly put themselves in danger and leave doors unlocked or open? Ahh yes, to let the camera through of course! The acting is like something off a school stage, inexcusable.
Talking of school plays, the script sounds like it could've been written by a gormless Year 11 pupil and his mates, with its forced attempts at humour and its facile, unconvincing conversational parts. It reeks of a lack of observation.
The sound isn't any better. Much of the dialogue is drowned out by the brainless score and the daft attempts to 'scare' the audience with loud crashes when lights go on or off are, laughably, ridiculous.
The 'one take' gimmick fails as miserably as everything else. It's boring. It doesn't deliver on the claustrophobic thrill ride that it was supposed to, quite the opposite in fact. The camera bumbles around the house, doors are left self-consciously open, the journey up and down the stairway becomes painful, supported by the shots of the clock that let us, the stupid audience, know that they really are doing it in one take! The second marketing gimmick, Danielle Lloyd, appears in the first 5 sickening minutes of the film and on the cover, 'nuff said. She's diabolical, but at least she sets the scene for next hour perfectly.
Apparently this film isn't a joke. Hard to believe I know! You might be forgiven in thinking that it's all a bit tongue in cheek, maybe even a misguided attempt at satire, until you watch the DVD extras that is. This is where you'll be left in no doubt about its seriousness. They seem to be under the impression that they've created something worthwhile, something important and that they've served up some fresh new talent for us and for British cinema along the way.
Watch them if you can stand it, but pass me a bucket.
The basic plot; it's late at night, a group of friends are staying in a remote house in the countryside and they get terrorised by some psychopaths. Admittedly, with a premise like that, you're not going to expect anything groundbreaking, but it's no excuse for this garbage.
You don't care what happens to any of the characters. They're hollow, their interactions unbelievable and their actions stupid. If they're so scared why do they constantly put themselves in danger and leave doors unlocked or open? Ahh yes, to let the camera through of course! The acting is like something off a school stage, inexcusable.
Talking of school plays, the script sounds like it could've been written by a gormless Year 11 pupil and his mates, with its forced attempts at humour and its facile, unconvincing conversational parts. It reeks of a lack of observation.
The sound isn't any better. Much of the dialogue is drowned out by the brainless score and the daft attempts to 'scare' the audience with loud crashes when lights go on or off are, laughably, ridiculous.
The 'one take' gimmick fails as miserably as everything else. It's boring. It doesn't deliver on the claustrophobic thrill ride that it was supposed to, quite the opposite in fact. The camera bumbles around the house, doors are left self-consciously open, the journey up and down the stairway becomes painful, supported by the shots of the clock that let us, the stupid audience, know that they really are doing it in one take! The second marketing gimmick, Danielle Lloyd, appears in the first 5 sickening minutes of the film and on the cover, 'nuff said. She's diabolical, but at least she sets the scene for next hour perfectly.
Apparently this film isn't a joke. Hard to believe I know! You might be forgiven in thinking that it's all a bit tongue in cheek, maybe even a misguided attempt at satire, until you watch the DVD extras that is. This is where you'll be left in no doubt about its seriousness. They seem to be under the impression that they've created something worthwhile, something important and that they've served up some fresh new talent for us and for British cinema along the way.
Watch them if you can stand it, but pass me a bucket.