Jungle Hell (1956)
3/10
Deservedly obscure and completely bewildering
8 July 2010
Warning: Spoilers
This is one of those weird, airless viewing experiences where the editors tried to pretend they could construct a watchable movie out of a whole bunch of stock footage inter-cut with shots of actors on a sound stage "reacting" to the stock footage, along with a bunch of expository dialog...and a narration delivered with all the emphasis of a 10th grade ESL student reading a passage phonetically without any comprehension of what he is actually saying.

Somewhere in here is a beloin-clothed Indian actor named "Sabu" who supposedly "stars" in the movie, even though he doesn't actually appear in it for long stretches, or at all in climax or in the last 10 minutes. (I think that's supposed to be his voice doing the opening and closing narration, but it's hard to tell, because along with all the other problems with this movie, it's very poorly miked and mixed.) He's not bad, or at least he's not unwatchable, but it's hard to imagine why someone thought they could base a film (or a TV show) around him.

The plot is a weird combination of stock footage of elephants (LOTS and LOTS of elephants!), radioactive rocks, plane crashes (or stock footage of plane crashes), crudely animated flying saucers and did I mention stock footage of elephants? LOTS of stock footage of elephants. Oh yeah, somewhere in there one of the big cats kills a crocodile and a guy who I think is supposed to be the villain because he has a dapper mustache and wants the radioactive rocks for himself instead of for science. I think.

Without all the elephant footage and all the dangling plot threads that the screenplay brings up without bothering to really answer, I think the movie would be about 25 or 30 minutes, and it wouldn't be too bad. Not great, but no worse than a typical Jungle Jim adventure from the same era.As it is, the movie gives me a giant case of mental dyspepsia.

I hope Sabu went on to bigger and better things, and I hope that the elephants lived happily ever after...and I hope I never have to watch this mess again.
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