This is the sort of movie that thinks Tourette's Syndrome is hilarious. It believes a bad toupee is the height of comedy. It expects people to laugh at profanity as though they've never heard such naughty words before. And it features Cary Elwes chewing so much scenery that he must have gotten an intestinal blockage. Wish You Were Dead is stupid, lazy and almost completely unfunny.
Melody (Elaine Hendrix) is a man-hating, chocoholic hit woman who is hired by wives to kill their cheating husbands. Mac (Cary Elwes) is a pathetic, socially inept virgin who works as an insurance claims adjuster. When Mac gets tricked by a Jerry Springeresque mother-daughter duo (Mary Steenbergen and Tanya Allen) into thinking he's knocked up the mother and then made her the beneficiary of Mac's million dollar life insurance policy, Melody is brought in to seal the deal by offing Mac. However, killer and victim fall in love and aided by Mac's foul mouthed degenerate of a co-worker (Christopher Lloyd), they hatch their own scheme to grab the money. Throw in an animal rights fanatic hairdresser (Gene Simmons), Mac's castrating bitch of a mother (Sally Kirkland), a pointless bikini wax and the first film appearance by Billy Ray Cyrus and that's Wish You Were Dead.
I never laughed once while watching this film. I didn't chuckle or snicker. I did smile once at a sight gag involving the remains of one of Melody's victims, but that was far outweighed by my otherwise constant and open mouthed astonishment at attempts at humor that would insult the wit and intelligence of a 7 year old. I mean, it's very, very difficult to make a consistently funny movie but it's not that hard to dredge up a at least a few crude, low brow jokes and sprinkle them throughout a script. For pete's sake, if nothing else you can pull a Milton Berle and just steal funny lines from other books or movies.
In place of actual comedy, this film offers up the labored, mannered, ridiculous-but-not-in-a-good-way performance of Elwes. His acting is sooooo much more over the top than anyone else in the cast it's as though Elwes is in his own separate film, much like Val Kilmer in Tombstone except this time it really sucks. And it's not like the other actors are hewing close to realism, but they are trying to play human beings while Elwes turns himself into a muppet.
Wish You Were Dead is terrible. Watch it at your own risk.
Melody (Elaine Hendrix) is a man-hating, chocoholic hit woman who is hired by wives to kill their cheating husbands. Mac (Cary Elwes) is a pathetic, socially inept virgin who works as an insurance claims adjuster. When Mac gets tricked by a Jerry Springeresque mother-daughter duo (Mary Steenbergen and Tanya Allen) into thinking he's knocked up the mother and then made her the beneficiary of Mac's million dollar life insurance policy, Melody is brought in to seal the deal by offing Mac. However, killer and victim fall in love and aided by Mac's foul mouthed degenerate of a co-worker (Christopher Lloyd), they hatch their own scheme to grab the money. Throw in an animal rights fanatic hairdresser (Gene Simmons), Mac's castrating bitch of a mother (Sally Kirkland), a pointless bikini wax and the first film appearance by Billy Ray Cyrus and that's Wish You Were Dead.
I never laughed once while watching this film. I didn't chuckle or snicker. I did smile once at a sight gag involving the remains of one of Melody's victims, but that was far outweighed by my otherwise constant and open mouthed astonishment at attempts at humor that would insult the wit and intelligence of a 7 year old. I mean, it's very, very difficult to make a consistently funny movie but it's not that hard to dredge up a at least a few crude, low brow jokes and sprinkle them throughout a script. For pete's sake, if nothing else you can pull a Milton Berle and just steal funny lines from other books or movies.
In place of actual comedy, this film offers up the labored, mannered, ridiculous-but-not-in-a-good-way performance of Elwes. His acting is sooooo much more over the top than anyone else in the cast it's as though Elwes is in his own separate film, much like Val Kilmer in Tombstone except this time it really sucks. And it's not like the other actors are hewing close to realism, but they are trying to play human beings while Elwes turns himself into a muppet.
Wish You Were Dead is terrible. Watch it at your own risk.