6/10
Filled with plot holes, rewrites the series
10 August 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Let me begin by saying this movie is decently watchable. It's probably one of the best films this summer yet the competition isn't very strong. However, strength is one thing the plot is missing dearly.

In the original Planet of the Apes series, the issue of the apes vs. humans was supposed to parallel the civil rights movement, which was in full swing at the time they were being produced. There were deep themes and heavy topics to deal with. This movie, however, appears to be produced by PETA, and only serves to make you feel sorry for the plight of the apes, I suppose so you will root for them when they gain their freedom. Also, the original series never explained how the apes evolved to become more human, just that a nuclear war wiped out humans for the most part. This film decides that a super virus kills everyone eventually.

Many scenes are so overdone and flat out inaccurate that they literally had me laughing out loud in the theater. Apes and other primates can't talk because they lack certain physical features in the throat. Guess what? Caesar, the main ape, learns to speak, and he's about as eloquent as an English school teacher at the end. I fully expected him to give a victory speech during the last 3 minutes.

This movie claims to have a 90 million dollar budget, and considering that it's about 50% cgi with all the apes, you have to wonder what they spent the other 10 million on. Franco comes across as nearly illiterate, like the dumb jock in high school that is reading "big words" out loud in class. He also drives a complete piece of crap in the movie that is at odds with his badass rich research scientist job. I'm not even going into the pointless girlfriend and the fact that nobody aged a day in 5 years.

Speaking of his job... The company, Gen-sys (get it) has the worst security known to man. You'd think if they were doing research on chimps, which are roughly 10x stronger than humans, they'd have the appropriate security measures in place and a failsafe lockdown for the floor they're on. Instead, they have an open-door, roam where you will policy that basically serves as an escalator to the downstairs lobby. Shatterproof or bulletproof glass? Nope. Not at this company. At one point, Porkins, our favorite bumbling chimp handler, hits a button on the wall and you fully expect the building to go into lockdown mode, with big bomb doors and whatnot. It doesn't happen. It's not even designed to happen. Biohazard outbreak? It's shocking it hasn't happened yet at that place.

The main character's dad is a nice, but predictable, break in the action, and everyone can see what's going to happen to him coming from a mile away. He'll get cured, then the cure will fail, then insert-tired-plot-device-here. Some of the scenes with him and the neighbor were so clichéd it's surprising nobody caught it in post and said hey, how about we leave this out.

Like other reviews have said, the apes are the real stars of this film, and the magical smoke bomb that turns them into savants overnight is about the laziest plot device imaginable. Some of the scenes in the ape house are fun (setting Buck free and Caesar becoming dominant) and honestly this is the real meat of the film. Once the apes break out, they go on an organized and terrifying rampage. However, if you're like me, you'll wonder just how many apes are in and around San Francisco. Looks like hundreds at some points.

Overall, it's not a bad film, but it smacks of the current stock coming out of Hollywood. It's cheesy, it's formulaic, it doesn't have strong acting or plot, and it just seems uninspired. If its main goal is to distract you from something else for 2 hours, it's perfect. If it strives to be even half as strong or thought-provoking as the original films, it falls flat on its face.
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