Old Dracula (1974)
5/10
Mildly amusing, but never particularly funny.
6 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I first saw this on TV, way back in the late 70s or early 80s. It's not a particularly good comedy and certainly not a serious vampire film. However, I don't find it awful, either. It's a pleasant little film that doesn't aspire to much and the actors keep it light enough. Seen today, it's an old piece of early 70s nostalgia; a failed attempt at both a Dracula satire and a Blaxploitation spoof.

David Niven is a charming, if less than hypnotic or even funny Count Dracula (even George Hamilton managed funny) who seeks to revive his dead wife, Vampira (not the horror host), with the right blood. Enter a party of Playboy playmates in his castle, a bit of a mix-up with the blood samples and we get a revived Vampira, as a non-caucasian Teresa Graves. From here we jet to London to find the right girl's blood to sort things out.

The script is by Jeremy Lloyd, of Laugh-In and Are You Being Served? fame, but the jokes are rather flat (suggesting that David Croft was the true comedic force in their partnership). The script gets by mostly on the strength of the actors, mining what little amusement that can be had. However, there is a decent enough story that things never degenerate into boredom. It is never particularly memorable, but it is pleasantly diverting. The jokes about the color change are never mean-spirited enough to really be offensive, though they are borderline often. Mostly, they just seem sad. The surprise ending (which is hardly that surprising) is especially poorly conceived and David Niven should have known better. It doesn't take too much effort to be offended by elements of the movie, though there is so little to it that it's more like a child uttering something they heard an adult say; it's unfortunate, but you don't really blame the child.

You can do worse than this film, but you can do a whole lot better. For me, the cast is the only thing worth watching here, even if their dignity is often left at the door (especially Niven, who even gets one in the goolies). If you want vampires, try Hammer; if you want comedy, try Love at First Bite. If it's raining and you are bored and find the 70s to be kitschy fun, try this.
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