Folks, welcome to amateur hour. How anybody who read this script, worked on set or even served tea at the cafeteria kept a straight face is beyond me. You could fill volumes of the Encyclopedia Britainnica listing the myriad of faults here, but let me have a stab:
1. There is a nightclub that plays the same two rubbish house tunes throughout, but no-one inside complains, in fact they all dance EXACTLY the same way. Often, there are large stretches with no dialogue, just the camera panning around this dive and somehow always ending up focusing on a blonde girl. Did she sleep with the director to get so much attention?
2. The thrust of the plot is of this dude owing money to some boss man, who must be the least intimidating heavy ever. Look at him on the front cover, with his little short arse and the constipated expression on his face. Yet somehow, instead of crushing him underfoot, everyone is terrified of him. Did the 6ft 5 ex-boxer fail to turn up to auditions, so they were forced to use this hobbit?
3. There is a scene here when the dude that owes money returns to his flat to find they've smashed up one of his rooms, including sprayed graffiti on the wall (OHH NOO)!! His wheelchair bound mother stumbles on the wreckage first, when she promptly has a heart attack. We then see him again later on in the same room, holding onto a shard of glass until blood drips down his hand. This might not sound like much, but the way it unfurls on screen is absolutely hilarious, especially with the 'tragic' music in the background.
4. The dude that owes money works at a generic store. To get the dosh, he decides to rob the safe. He enlists the help of his mate who works at the aforementioned nightclub, who says no. Later on, his mate has a change of heart, and turns up just as the dude's robbery is going belly-up. His mate grabs the gun to let the dude escape, and when the police turn up, pretends he was the one who committed the offense. This is seen as a 'noble sacrifice' in the context of the film. Only problem is, EVERYONE in the store has already seen the dude waving the gun around, so he has no chance of getting away with it. OOPS.
5. Danny John-Jules? SERIOUSLY? You couldn't wait a year to start making the new series of Red Dwarf? You had to embarrass yourself, your family, your pets etc till the end of time by agreeing to star in this atrocity? For Shame. FOR SHAME.
Basically, it would have been a lot better if everyone had gone home, the script was thrown in the nearest furnace and the £500 budget was donated to charidee. After all, it's not too long to Children In Need... 1/10
1. There is a nightclub that plays the same two rubbish house tunes throughout, but no-one inside complains, in fact they all dance EXACTLY the same way. Often, there are large stretches with no dialogue, just the camera panning around this dive and somehow always ending up focusing on a blonde girl. Did she sleep with the director to get so much attention?
2. The thrust of the plot is of this dude owing money to some boss man, who must be the least intimidating heavy ever. Look at him on the front cover, with his little short arse and the constipated expression on his face. Yet somehow, instead of crushing him underfoot, everyone is terrified of him. Did the 6ft 5 ex-boxer fail to turn up to auditions, so they were forced to use this hobbit?
3. There is a scene here when the dude that owes money returns to his flat to find they've smashed up one of his rooms, including sprayed graffiti on the wall (OHH NOO)!! His wheelchair bound mother stumbles on the wreckage first, when she promptly has a heart attack. We then see him again later on in the same room, holding onto a shard of glass until blood drips down his hand. This might not sound like much, but the way it unfurls on screen is absolutely hilarious, especially with the 'tragic' music in the background.
4. The dude that owes money works at a generic store. To get the dosh, he decides to rob the safe. He enlists the help of his mate who works at the aforementioned nightclub, who says no. Later on, his mate has a change of heart, and turns up just as the dude's robbery is going belly-up. His mate grabs the gun to let the dude escape, and when the police turn up, pretends he was the one who committed the offense. This is seen as a 'noble sacrifice' in the context of the film. Only problem is, EVERYONE in the store has already seen the dude waving the gun around, so he has no chance of getting away with it. OOPS.
5. Danny John-Jules? SERIOUSLY? You couldn't wait a year to start making the new series of Red Dwarf? You had to embarrass yourself, your family, your pets etc till the end of time by agreeing to star in this atrocity? For Shame. FOR SHAME.
Basically, it would have been a lot better if everyone had gone home, the script was thrown in the nearest furnace and the £500 budget was donated to charidee. After all, it's not too long to Children In Need... 1/10