Hell Below (1933)
4/10
don't get your hopes too high about this
25 May 2013
Warning: Spoilers
The over-excited reviews here on IMDb surprise me, as I found this movie only barely worth watching. Mostly I enjoyed the real-life sequences of vintage ships steaming, exploding, and sinking. But the love story, which completely dominates everything else, is ordinary pot-boiler stuff, about a girl torn between two men, deciding who "needs" her more. Finally, though, one of the guys sacrifices himself in order to be a hero (sigh, fade to black). The love story really tanks, though, whenever Madge Evans is forced to try to sound real and impassioned with one of her "I love you truly, truly" speeches.

The comic relief by Jimmy Durante might have been very welcome for 1930s audiences, but his eyeball-popping, head-shaking, and and "Hachaaa!"s look forced and pathetic today. His scene with the boxing kangaroo is a stupid interruption. (I couldn't help thinking how dangerous it would be if the roo made one of his little kicks really count for something.)

Now about the writing--did somebody here mention a "literate" script? Please. Its literacy may be measured with examples like these:

"Are you all right?" Wiping blood from his nose, "You think this is ketchup, do you?"

Trying to fix a leak spewing water into the sub, "Somebody left the bathtub on."

All this is not to say The Hell Below is terrible. It's probably a cut above the average war movie of its era (How many war movies were made in the early 30s, anyway?), but if you're looking it up on IMDb to get a sense of whether you should put aside time to watch it, my advice is not to give it a very high priority. Leave it for some late night when you have insomnia. You'll be grateful for it then.
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