Algiers (1938)
2/10
If You Ever Wondered Why Casablanca Is A Classic . . .
25 December 2013
ALGIERS is just like Casablanca -- only slower, sleazier, sadder.

I realize this movie came first, but it's like every single ingredient was copied -- and improved on -- by the team of screenwriters who hammered together CASABLANCA a few years later.

1.) Cynical, Shady Hero. Check. Except that Pepe LeMoko is just a crook. There's no hint of courage or self-sacrifice in his past. Also he sings a love song while polishing his shoes. I wanted to shove him right off the balcony!

2.) Innocent, High-Class Heroine. Check. Except that Gabrielle in ALGIERS isn't really innocent. She's not truly in love with a distinguished freedom fighter, she's marrying a fat, disgusting slob for money. But at least she looks good in diamonds and jewels!

3.) Corrupt, Lovable Police Inspector Who Secretly Admires the Hero. Check. Except Claude Rains in CASABLANCA plays his part like he's having the time of his life -- like it's FUN to be a corrupt cop. And you sense how much he loves Rick, even when Rick is pointing a gun straight at his heart. ("That is my least vulnerable spot.") The guy in ALGIERS is okay, but he looks so sad and depressed all the time. It's almost like he knows how the movie is going to end!

4.) Slutty Bad Girl Who Clings To The Hero. Check. Except in ALGIERS the local girl who's crazy about Pepe is actually tougher, braver, classier, and more loyal than the heroine! And that kind of shoots the main love story right in the foot, don't you think?

5.) A Colorful Supporting Cast Made Up Of The Usual Suspects. Check. Except that Pepe's gang are all wildly miscast (Alan "Little John" Hale as a sleazy Middle Eastern merchant? I bet the Sheriff of Nottingham thought that one up!) And then there's Stanley Fields (still looking for the Island of Dr. Moreau) and a couple of random guys. These people are just, well, creepy. Oh, and watch when they torture the stool pigeon to death for about TEN MINUTES! Great stuff, if you're watching a Cagney movie, but this is a love story. Isn't it? Isn't it?

6.) Bittersweet Tragic Ending Where Our Hero Doesn't Get The Girl. Check. Except that running after an ocean liner just looks stupid. Watching a plane take off is classy. I don't know if anyone even realized just how funny it was when Pepe was bolting down the dock screaming like a banshee -- and then gibbering like an idiot. And what were Pepe's last words? Here's looking at you, kid? We'll always have Paris? No, I think Pepe was saying, let's get it right next time!
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