Double Dragon (1994)
4/10
I Keep Watching, But Don't Know Why!
25 November 2014
One of my favourite childhood games gets the typical nineties Hollywood makeover and only just entertains for all the wrong reasons!

Set in the future, well, if our year of 2007 really turned out like this, in the city of New Angeles. With vehicles powered by burning rubbish, police curfews, buildings held up by jacks, and lots of colourful clothes and bad jeans, we enter the god awful world of James Yukich's Double Dragon.

In a nutshell - Embarrassing acting from most cast members, all but Dacascos, Wolf and Nickson, that only adds to the unintentional humour, terrible make-up, costumes and direction. Its only saving grace is its two gorgeous leading men who give us some decent fight scenes and a number of funny enough one liners!

In my opinion - Hollywood, oh Hollywood... For many years you have astounded us with your inability to chose directors that know what they are doing, that suit the project in action, or generally just can't stop ruining great things! Taking a documentary film maker and handing him one of the ultimate and most popular games of that time, should have been the first sign to the studio fat cats that this was going to be as much of a success as the previous years, Super Mario Bros.

Haunted by that typical mid nineties costume department that helped make a lot of then films look naff, there is pretty much nothing in this 90 minutes of madness that stays true to the game. Every extra looks ridiculous and is annoying as hell, with most of it playing out like some bastard child from a Power Rangers episode!

Is there anything good in Double Dragon I hear you ask? Well, yes if I'm honest. Both its leading men are absolutely gorgeous and perfect leading men material for such a film. They probably act the best out of everyone, and Scott manages to hold his own in the fight scenes alongside the always incredible Mark Dacascos. It is only a shame though that Hollywood executives thought this would be the best film to introduce Mark as a leading man, instead of his classic Crying Freeman which went unreleased in the US for many years!

Double Dragon has its moments. It just makes me so angry to see such a great thing wasted, and another case of what could have been if it was in the right hands. In one scene, the spinach feeding scene, the actor in terrible make-up states, 'I'm not acting...'

Never a truer word said.
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