Aquanoids (2003)
2/10
Z-grade isn't the word
8 July 2015
I'm a pretty big fan of the 'underwater monster' B-movie. CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON is the granddaddy of course, and JAWS the milestone against which all over movies have been judged/attempted to rip off over the past thirty-plus years. AQUANOIDS is somewhere between the two plot-wise, as humanoid-type creatures kill surfers and bathers at a beach, but there the resemblance ends. This is no-budget filmmaking at its very worst, utterly devoid of talent and interest and only worth watching to see how worthless it really is. The hardest thing to like about this film is the camera, which looks little better than your average home video; the shot on video format works against it, lessening the experience against other, better B-movies of the past.

A number of those films are referenced by characters in one SCREAM-like post-modern conversation, giving away the fact that the filmmakers are fans of this sub-genre. It's a shame they couldn't do anything with the tired script and awful execution. The creatures are barely seen, and boast rubbishy PREDATOR-style vision; the attacks involve laughable gore effects and one rip-off "monster birth" sequence. The jokes are flat and the acting awful, and brief nudity does nothing to keep you watching. The film's so cheap that even the guns rarely fire and explosions are effected via some lame CGI work. As the leading bimbo, Laura Nativo is attractive enough, and strangely resilient to the perils of the poor script, but she can't save this wishy-washy monster flick from being a total disaster.
3 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed