Review of Cooties

Cooties (2014)
4/10
Waste of potential.
1 November 2015
Warning: Spoilers
This film had so many people talking because it's such a strange premise. Only so often do little children play big roles in films. More times then not this is for the best because, simply put, they are horrible actors. But 'Cooties' gets that and takes complex acting out of the equation right away. Having them instead act as target practice for the talented adult cast. This is what makes 'Cooties' so entertaining. It's clear that both the child and adult cast are having a blast with this film. And that translates through the film. It's a blast to watch. The comedy hits more then it doesn't and the unique premise is a whole lot of fun. But the standouts here are Elijah Wood and Rainn Wilson. They have incredible chemistry together and their comedic timing is spot on.

​The film realizes this. It knows that every moment they spend off screen is a moment that is hurting the film. So, when it tries to kill off one of these two it's painfully obvious that they don't have the guts to go through with it. This is only confirmed with a tacked on ending in which he makes his dramatic re- entry. This happening less then ten minutes after his "death". So why was that in the film at all?

​It only hurts itself doing this. Having him comeback a couple minutes later makes his sacrifice completely meaningless. It robs itself of any weight that the scene carried. Why not just have him escape with the others? It would not have been hard to have him get away and it wouldn't have looked completely lazy either. However, I shouldn't have been surprised by this. Because the entire film operates like this. Saying one thing and doing another or not doing anything at all. Take the zombies for example. The film shows them being super smart, like cutting the power and destroying all communication devices. But it also shows them waiting to pounce until one of the characters notice them. Or making a single file line and attacking one by one. The whole run time is like this. The zombies being super smart and forcing the humans to try and get away but will (for whatever reason) eat sleeping pills when they are thrown their way. It's completely nonsensical. The longer the film runs the more illogical it becomes, only to be capped off by a ridiculously tacked on ending.

'Cooties' will certainly become a guilty pleasure. It's highly entertaining premise and hilariously gory kills make for a fun watch. But don't expect to be invested in this movie. The bland characters, horrendous plot and stupid zombie mechanics make sure that you don't have to much fun.
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