4/10
The Boring Audience Killers
17 April 2016
Warning: Spoilers
TCM ran The Fearless Vampire Killers (TFVK) the same night that METV ran the Star Trek "Amok Time" (the Spock "pon-farr" kill Spock episode). Both productions are from basically the same year. It is interesting to see both products on the same night. The TV show episode is memorable and the TFVK hardly ever is seen. The answer as to "why this is" is in the script. The Star Trek episode in classic 1967 TV (for all the warts in looking at it back through time); TFVK is as boring as they come.

It is asserted that TFVK is a satire of the Hammer Vampire movies. In my life I have seen and enjoyed the Hammer Vampire movies. I had never seen TFVK until now. It took all my might to sit through TFVK to say that I had watched it so that I will never watch it again. As far as satire goes the film is just lame.

Futurama has the episode of "Why Must I Be a Crustacean in love?" which is a satire of "Amok Time." The episode is hilarious. "Young Frankenstein" (YF) is a satire of Frankenstein movies. YF is hilarious. TFVK is just flat out boring.

While watching TFVK a memory came of reading Joseph Heller's "Something Happened" which is a 400+ page book that should be re-titled "Nothing Happened." At the end of a viewing of TFVK the feeling was that "Nothing Happened" after slogging through a lengthy tome\viewing.

Sharon Tate may look very hot in some of the scenes but the scenes are very brief and far and few between. The rest of the movie is filled with a lot of unintelligible jargon spewed by characters who follow "The Idiot Principle" of writing. In the Idiot Principle of writing the characters continue to say and do things that are more stupid than the last thing they did because that is supposedly funny and is the only way to move the plot forward. TFVK follows this conceit in a boring manner until a really stupid climax and denouement occurs.

Some have made mention that all that is missing is Benny Hill music. One can see that as the film plays out and it would only have made the movie better to take a direct Benny Hill approach. It would have at least been a little bit more entertaining.

Arnold Schwarzenegger said in an interview about "The Last Action Hero" that everyone read the script and thought it was great. Then we made the movie and watched and realized "My God...this is awful! And now we have to go out and sell it!" I suspect those that made and bankrolled TFVK probably experienced similar feelings after the created and watched TFVK. It just isn't really that good.
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