Mister John (2013)
Slowest film ever?
21 August 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Totally agree with 'afmwass' here. This film is very very slow to watch, but not in a good way.

I appreciate a good art-house film and I don't mind slow scenes if it fits the story but this is just dreadful. Even within the first minute of the film I was asking my friend 'what's happening?' and this we continued to ask each other throughout the movie.

Whole long takes are just about things like the main character changing his shirt or going to the toilet! Whenever it seems as if the story is going to pick up and there is going to be some action, it just peters out or the director cuts forward to nothing happening the next day.

There are basically only three scenes in the whole movie where there is a bit of action but they all just lead to nothing:

1. The guy gets bitten by a snake, he seems to be dying but the next shot shows him in the hospital and ready to leave.

2. The guy drags a drunk visitor along a hotel corridor to a room where there is a very beautiful girl who wants to share his room, and he does nothing!

3. The confrontation with 'bad guy' Lester, which has actually been built up to with a bit of suspense, only delivers a very anti-climatic bout of clumsy fisticuffs.

Bottom line, don't be fooled by the reviews that say that this film is 'deep' or 'haunting'. It is not deep, it is shallow. Yes, it could be called 'haunting' in the sense that the next day you vaguely remember how crap it was and wonder why they bothered to make it, and why you bothered to watch it!
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