Review of 31

31 (2016)
2/10
A Rob Zombie fan no more
1 September 2016
Warning: Spoilers
To start off, I have loved previous Zombie films. House of 1000 Corpses and Devils Rejects were at one point two of my favorite films. With that said, this film is just bad. I just came from the Fathom Events and was so disappointed by this movie I opened this account just to write this review. There are numerous things this movie lacks and going into this film I did not expect a masterpiece, but instead good ol bloody fun. Sadly, the blood could not save this film.

We find ourselves with a simple plot revolving 5 individuals forced to play a game called "31". They must fight to survive the night and win the game. The killers have a clown based appearance making for what appears to be a fun ride.

After the premise is revealed the film immediately goes down hill. To start off no character development is really made with both the survivors or villains of the movie. When the killings begin we feel indifferent to who lives or dies. When the deaths do occur, they are disappointing especially in comparison to Zombie's past. By this I mean, most of the kills are done by stabbings, which either cut to black, or show minimal damage. I'm not saying the lack of gore is what makes this movie bad, but I figured it would be Zombie's scape goat if anything. Unfortunately the movie progresses with no real development of plot and ends with what appears to be a copy of a scene found within other Zombie films. Which normally would be a cool throwback, but in this case seemed lazy.

From here I could go on about the issues with this movie, but ill just bullet point them.

  • The editing seemed as if a fan of Zombie's film had made this. Overuse of "vintage" effects just became detrimental.


  • The killers lacked any real character. It's as if he thought "Killer clowns are scary, enough said". So with that said the killers are just that, new clowns in different "Weird attire".


  • The killers lack any power. As the film nears its remaining 30 minutes, we see the heroes plow through "killers" like nothing.It's as if everyone was on the same playing field and this was just a brawl.


  • With such a simple premise of "Killer clowns" most would immediately assume the setting is going to be a carnival or something related. Instead we are introduced to the characters in a great looking carnival Esq setting in the very beginning, then the film immediately places all the characters in the most clichéd looking "pipe room" that is completely gray and dark. I assume this was due to budget constraints, but then why the lavish room to simply introduce the characters? This poor use of setting is later seen in a room that is shown which looks like a typical mini circus tent but is actually a cage. This room was only used for a few minutes on screen and completely abandoned after. Returning all characters to the pipe room.


  • The acting was poor. Like just scare actor at your local Halloween attraction bad. That goes for both heroes and villains. The only one who had evident talent Meg Foster. Her performance was brilliant with the material she had.


FINAL THING. After the movie there was a "Q&A From Rob Zombie". The first question was "What inspired you to make this film?" His answer was "Well , I was working on a movie that got stuck in production hell so I called up my team and told them ' I can pitch you the dumbest simple idea that will make money right now in 30 seconds" "Its Halloween... uh people get kidnapped....uh clowns kill them. boom that'll make money." This was the moment I was not only disappointed in the movie but Rob Zombie himself. This man practically had the audience sit through a poor excuse of a movie THEN had the nerve to basically include a feature that tells them they were dumb for falling for it.

All said and done, if you like Rob's past movies just avoid this one. Trust me, it will shine a light on the idea that maybe Rob never had any talent, but instead used the same tricks until they got old.
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