4/10
A confusing mess of a mummy film with an all-star cast
5 November 2016
Warning: Spoilers
A US production, filmed in the UK for a change and with a UK cast, this still isn't very good. Basically it's a variation on the old mummy story, with the idea now that the killer mummy isn't actually human-shaped - instead, it's a pile of old bandages which can animated itself and strangle or crush people to death. The CGI effects used for the bandages aren't bad, but in the end it all seems a bit pointless anyway as the bandages take the form of a proper mummy after all.

Things look cheesily promising in the opening scenes, of a tomb excavation in Egypt. This time around, Christopher Lee is one of the archaeologists (back in '59, he starred in the title role in THE MUMMY). After a gust of wind comes out of the tomb, the three men are turned into clay (I don't know why either) and die, with Lee managing to blow up the cave as he does so. The sight of Lee disintegrating on the ground brings back pleasant memories of Dracula, but sadly this is to be the film's finest moment. It all goes downhill from there.

Things return to London, where the bandages escape and begin to kill people, extracting various organs (liver, heart, eyes) from each of the victims - like we haven't seen that one before. So what we have as the main plot structure is a series of gruesome deaths and a look at the police investigation into them. A typical kind of plot, but it's kept alive through the interesting supporting cast and the brave - yet not exactly realistic - special effects work. However, things fall totally apart at the end of the movie, when Talos is reincarnated as a being that looks like an alien (but which is still pretty cool, I have to say) and people run around a dark and gloomy factory (déjà vu perhaps?). Sadly by this time I didn't have a clue as to what was going on, making this one of the most disjointed, confusing endings ever.

Imported American lead Jason Scott Lee (more at home as a bad guy in SOLDIER, I feel) seems stiff and unsuited to this type of film, especially in his growing romance with Louise Lombard. Lombard herself is fine as the gorgeous archaeologist, but you get the feeling that somehow she's better than all this and doesn't deserve to be in it. Sean Pertwee plays a skinhead psychopath who's into astrology, and his over-the-top performance would no doubt make his dad spin in the grave. Frankly, it's pretty embarrassing, especially when Pertwee tries to act scary.

Lysette Anthony has a nothing role as a doctor, who ends up getting possessed by the spirit at the end of the film - like we could care. Jack Davenport - a familiar face to British television fans - is an investigating copper, and his death comes as one of the film's few real surprises. Honor Blackman has a bit part as Lee's superior, while a surprisingly ageless Shelley Duvall is a mystic who helps the cops out. One more item of note to British readers : watch carefully and you'll be rewarded by the sight of Bill Treacher - Arthur from EASTENDERS - getting his neck snapped by the mummy.

At the end of this film, you can sort of see what they were aiming for with the plot, but all that is spoiled by dodgy editing and confusing narrative. It's like a good idea is hiding inside the film and struggling to get out. It's a shame that this movie is a failure, because there aren't a lot of UK-based movies around these days. Russell Mulcahy proves again that HIGHLANDER was a fluke. Still, even after all this, it would appear that we lucky Europeans are better off than the Americans, who had half an hour chopped out of this before the film was released over there! I hate to think what the finished movie looked like, especially when this full version is pretty confusing as it is.
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