Actually, on merit, just 1, and then only because there is no 0 option, but I have to relent, there is a very, very pretty dream-girl in here, and, well, I could just look at her, and look at her. And look at her. You get the picture. I have yet to determine who she is, because catching the character's name in this kind of flick is kinda difficult, I don't think she has a name, it is that kinda flick... No, I'm not talking about that Andy Sidaris girl Dona Speir. The little chestnut mare, that fine little filly (first to the slaughter, arghh...)
The Raven doesn't normally watch this kind of thing. Years and years ago, during my VHS days, I saw loads and loads of low quality type flicks brought into this stuck-up country (then, back then, we're talking late Eighties/early Nineties South Africa... believe me, you Yanks, you have no idea how to even spell R E P R E S S I O N) and the kind of stuff that were being let through to video stores were often these "gore and sex" titles in the wake of movies like BASIC INSTINCT, go figure the logic of the up-keepers of moral standards, but okay, to cut a long story short, me and a buddy watched a lot of these junky type things, and he had a great time watching my reaction during slasher movies. Like, that shouldn't be like that, man! I well remember how I despised AEROBICIDE...
Getting to the point, I've been trying to find a movie named NIGHT CLUB, and the only way I could get it on DVD... Ooh, you lot will know. The Dangerous Babes box-set. Featuring eleven other titles I'd never ever even heard of ever. Losers, I guess...
One of them is even a slasher movie. I thought, okay, I'll watch it, but if it offends me, so help me Hollywood, I'm gonna blast it on IMDb and give it a next-to-zero rating.
Turns out it isn't really a kill-em-for-fun slasher in the full sense. It meanders considerably and it takes fifty minutes for the gore to start. By that time, the average slasher fan had long since crawled back into his ghoulish coffin and is fast asleep.
There is considerable disinformation among the reviews posted here. (1) No nudity, only bikinis. Maybe you saw a censored copy, guy. There is plenty of nudity. (2) No natural bodies? Wrong again. That beautiful girl with the reddish brown hair and the delicate, er, upper structure, she is as natural as can be. (3) The girls aren't beautiful. Jeepers, I dedicated the title of this review to that lovely girl who reminds me of Jamie Luner in SAVANNAH, the 1996/7 Aaron Spelling TV series. She is won-der-ful. And she undresses, champagne glass boobsies with perky nippsies, ooh yummy, with bare buttocks too, I'm lucky after all!
But the general consensus that it is a stinker, currently rated on average something like 2,5 out of 10, that is very, very much the way it is, only it shouldn't even be that high. The movie itself is like BIKINI ISLAND, lowly trash saved only by a pretty girl. In this one's case, she gets wasted at around 52 minutes in. The rest is mostly just flotsam. With salvageable bits drifting about. Some leggy scenes too. And, yes, the best bit I've seen of Dona Speir, looking very vulnerable and hiding behind a diaphanous veil, without the armament she usually carries when she's in Uncle Andy's movies.
The gore? Wouldn't satisfy those that way inclined.
I was originally going to give a preach ranting against the slasher type movie, or rather, against the fan of that kind of genre. Suffice to say that I view that kind of thing as the lowest form of low. I mean, stand on a ladder to look a snail in the eyes, that kind of low, if seeing a girl murdered in a bath is your kind of exciting thing.
Other good thing about the movie, the perverted nursery rhymes the killer utters during his insane rantings. I couldn't quite make all of them out, figures! "Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a hail of bullets" and "Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, I'll burn off your balls with my candlestick" as he pursues with nothing less than a flame- thrower.
The Raven doesn't normally watch this kind of thing. Years and years ago, during my VHS days, I saw loads and loads of low quality type flicks brought into this stuck-up country (then, back then, we're talking late Eighties/early Nineties South Africa... believe me, you Yanks, you have no idea how to even spell R E P R E S S I O N) and the kind of stuff that were being let through to video stores were often these "gore and sex" titles in the wake of movies like BASIC INSTINCT, go figure the logic of the up-keepers of moral standards, but okay, to cut a long story short, me and a buddy watched a lot of these junky type things, and he had a great time watching my reaction during slasher movies. Like, that shouldn't be like that, man! I well remember how I despised AEROBICIDE...
Getting to the point, I've been trying to find a movie named NIGHT CLUB, and the only way I could get it on DVD... Ooh, you lot will know. The Dangerous Babes box-set. Featuring eleven other titles I'd never ever even heard of ever. Losers, I guess...
One of them is even a slasher movie. I thought, okay, I'll watch it, but if it offends me, so help me Hollywood, I'm gonna blast it on IMDb and give it a next-to-zero rating.
Turns out it isn't really a kill-em-for-fun slasher in the full sense. It meanders considerably and it takes fifty minutes for the gore to start. By that time, the average slasher fan had long since crawled back into his ghoulish coffin and is fast asleep.
There is considerable disinformation among the reviews posted here. (1) No nudity, only bikinis. Maybe you saw a censored copy, guy. There is plenty of nudity. (2) No natural bodies? Wrong again. That beautiful girl with the reddish brown hair and the delicate, er, upper structure, she is as natural as can be. (3) The girls aren't beautiful. Jeepers, I dedicated the title of this review to that lovely girl who reminds me of Jamie Luner in SAVANNAH, the 1996/7 Aaron Spelling TV series. She is won-der-ful. And she undresses, champagne glass boobsies with perky nippsies, ooh yummy, with bare buttocks too, I'm lucky after all!
But the general consensus that it is a stinker, currently rated on average something like 2,5 out of 10, that is very, very much the way it is, only it shouldn't even be that high. The movie itself is like BIKINI ISLAND, lowly trash saved only by a pretty girl. In this one's case, she gets wasted at around 52 minutes in. The rest is mostly just flotsam. With salvageable bits drifting about. Some leggy scenes too. And, yes, the best bit I've seen of Dona Speir, looking very vulnerable and hiding behind a diaphanous veil, without the armament she usually carries when she's in Uncle Andy's movies.
The gore? Wouldn't satisfy those that way inclined.
I was originally going to give a preach ranting against the slasher type movie, or rather, against the fan of that kind of genre. Suffice to say that I view that kind of thing as the lowest form of low. I mean, stand on a ladder to look a snail in the eyes, that kind of low, if seeing a girl murdered in a bath is your kind of exciting thing.
Other good thing about the movie, the perverted nursery rhymes the killer utters during his insane rantings. I couldn't quite make all of them out, figures! "Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a hail of bullets" and "Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, I'll burn off your balls with my candlestick" as he pursues with nothing less than a flame- thrower.