2/10
Pirate debaucle
19 January 2018
After Oliver!, I'm surprised anyone ever offered Mark Lester another part in a movie. Kirk Douglas must have felt sorry for him and offered him the part of his young sidekick in his movie Scalawag, in which he starred and directed. In this swashbuckling disaster, Kirk plays a peg-legged pirate with a band of misfits and a parrot. As like any stereotypical pirate, he's in search of treasure. As much as I like Kirk Douglas, I have to think he was having a bad day when he decided to make this movie. It's both incredibly silly and incredibly 1970s, a decade I don't think produced many quality films anyway. The awkward zooms, terrible haircuts, and odd music choices don't stand the test of time, and Scalawag is no different. Unless you make it your mission to watch every single pirate movie ever made, just stick to Robert Newton's films. You've got several to choose from, including Treasure Island and Long John Silver.

DLM Warning: If you suffer from vertigo or dizzy spells, like my mom does, this movie might not your friend. There's a scene in a hot air balloon about ten minutes before the end where the camera spins in a circle, and it will make you sick. In other words, "Don't Look, Mom!"
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