2/10
I couldn't even finish it
18 May 2018
I rented the Anthony Quinn version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame with an open mind. I knew I wouldn't like it as much as the Charles Laughton version, but I had no idea I'd wind up fast forwarding it until I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't even finish the movie.

First of all, despite the title, Anthony Quinn is hardly in the movie. It should have been called Esmerelda, since Gina Lollobrigida took first billing and an enormous amount of screen time. Secondly, this version of the story doesn't really make sense. Gina starts off being afraid of Tony, thinking he's trying to rape her-even though that's not at all what he tries to do-and immediately after her frightening encounter with a strange man in a dark alley, she flirts with Jean Danet, another strange man who clearly is after her body. Tony only tried to lift her up; Jean hoists her up on his horse and rides off to an inn and pays for a bedroom! Then, when Tony gets punished for attempted kidnapping, she inexplicably gives him water during his torture scene-and when he says, "Thank you, you're kind," she inexplicably flees the scene because he's too repulsive to look at. Then-no, I'm not done-after the famous "Sanctuary!" scene, Gina screams at the sight of him and is actively mean.

The third problem was the casting. It just doesn't work to cast a good-looking man as Quasimodo. The audience is always aware of what he looks like underneath the makeup. Tony is a very large man, and he isn't given a proportionally large enough hump on his back; he easily stands up straight. In the Charles Laughton version, he's very small and hunched over-hence the title-and lopes around practically on all fours. Now, the final problem: the acting. You must know by now how much I love Anthony Quinn, but nobody in this movie was any good. The supporting cast sounded like they were dubbed by people at a cold reading, Gina's accent was very strong and difficult to understand, and Tony seemed mentally as well as physically impaired. Quasimodo isn't supposed to mentally slow, so it doesn't make any sense that Tony constantly bursts out laughing in inappropriate situations and acts like he's been hit in the head too many times. Please save yourselves and stick to Charles Laughton.
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