You can't do it. You can't possibly do it.
Frank D'Angelo is a master of making terrible, terrible movies while actually trying to make good movies (and somehow convincing himself that he is succeeding)... but this really is his Citizen Kane of ego fueled bullpucky.
Added to the usual roundup of Hollywood has been actors he somehow convinces to be in his awful movies d'Angelo has somehow convinced James Caan to be in this. Yes, the James Caan from The Godfather. If you Google James Caan and Sicilian Vampire (and you definitely should) you'll find a fantastic interview, the title is something like "why on earth was James Caan in this awful movie???" Anyway, read that and you'll find out how Caan fell on such hard times he was forced to make this garbage movie to pay his alimony, and the movie is so bad he skipped out on the premiere and actually used this movie in court to convince the judge to cut his alimony payments because being forced to do this movie caused great harm to him and his career.
Anyway, this mob boss (obviously D'Angelo casts himself in this starring role) opens a crate of bananas, gets bit by a bat and becomes a mafia vampire. Keep in mind that this is not I repeat NOT a comedy!
Watch for the scene where all the other mob guys force him to get up on stage and sing a song for no apparent reason other than Frank D'Angelo loves to get up on stage and sing songs to show off how talented he is.
It would be hilarious if this all wasn't so sad in real life. The guy needs some kind of help or maybe just some real friends to tell him to stop flushing his money down the toilet like this.
As always be sure to read all the positive reviews here that are for sure by real people who saw and loved this movie, hahaha.
Frank D'Angelo is a master of making terrible, terrible movies while actually trying to make good movies (and somehow convincing himself that he is succeeding)... but this really is his Citizen Kane of ego fueled bullpucky.
Added to the usual roundup of Hollywood has been actors he somehow convinces to be in his awful movies d'Angelo has somehow convinced James Caan to be in this. Yes, the James Caan from The Godfather. If you Google James Caan and Sicilian Vampire (and you definitely should) you'll find a fantastic interview, the title is something like "why on earth was James Caan in this awful movie???" Anyway, read that and you'll find out how Caan fell on such hard times he was forced to make this garbage movie to pay his alimony, and the movie is so bad he skipped out on the premiere and actually used this movie in court to convince the judge to cut his alimony payments because being forced to do this movie caused great harm to him and his career.
Anyway, this mob boss (obviously D'Angelo casts himself in this starring role) opens a crate of bananas, gets bit by a bat and becomes a mafia vampire. Keep in mind that this is not I repeat NOT a comedy!
Watch for the scene where all the other mob guys force him to get up on stage and sing a song for no apparent reason other than Frank D'Angelo loves to get up on stage and sing songs to show off how talented he is.
It would be hilarious if this all wasn't so sad in real life. The guy needs some kind of help or maybe just some real friends to tell him to stop flushing his money down the toilet like this.
As always be sure to read all the positive reviews here that are for sure by real people who saw and loved this movie, hahaha.