Review of Your Friend the Rat

. . . True Blue Loyal Patriotic Normal Average 99 Per Center Silent Majority Union Label Progressive Working Stiff Citizens that we had an opportunity to view something called YOUR FRIEND THE RAT, most of them assumed it was some sort of recent Fox "News" puff piece concerning our deplorable Game-Show-Host-in-Chief. This seeming foray into the uncharted waters of "Truth in Advertising" on the part of The Storm Trooper Network drew high attendance to our screening of YOUR FRIEND THE RAT. You probably can imagine my chagrin, therefore, when these viewers complained about a "bait and switch" (on either my part, or Pixar's, apparently) over the fact that YOUR FRIEND THE RAT features a couple of literal rodents; NOT the rapacious crew currently looting the U.S. Treasury, wreaking havoc upon our Once Great Homeland's environment, and colluding with the lowest echelons of the Rat Fink Ranks across the globe. However, the graphics used during YOUR FRIEND THE RAT actually DO have a lot to say about the current wildfire-like spread of Rodent Culture across the face of America. "A male and female rat pairing can produce 15,000 descendants within a year," warns the narrator of YOUR FRIEND THE RAT, as animators produce an illustration of a world overrun by these pestilent rodents. If there is any moral to this story, it seems to be that EACH AND EVERY supporter of the current traitorous Rat Regime MUST be rooted out ASAP, deported to Antarctica (which the narrator claims is presently rat-free), and left there for AT LEAST a seven-generation cooling off period (which is A LOT longer in human years than that to which the literal rat population is habituated).