Blank emptiness of pure non-thought . . . this is not the way to enlightenment. This is the face of Bridget Fonda. Pray that you will never be reborn as a lowly substitute teacher, working at an elite school district in upstate New York. Pray that you do not substitute for a last period Global History class where freshmen are laughing and chattering while you fight desperately to maintain order. While you strain in growing despair to hear the moronic dialogue delivered by the blank-faced avatar of nothingness that is Bridget Fonda.
"I'd like to be an ant," Bridget says. Then cut away to Keanu Reeves (!) as the Great Buddha himself. Envision Bridget on her knees before Buddha. Envision Bridget on her knees before Genghis Khan. Envision Bridget on her knees before Jim Morrison.
Envision whatever you like, for there are many paths to Enlightenment. But do not become a substitute teacher. And do not go to see Bridget Fonda looking blank and empty in this awful, awful movie. Pray instead that everyone responsible will be reborn as ants . . . or substitute teachers. Pray that those responsible for adding to the world's suffering will be forced to watch this awful film year after year, while the freshmen laugh and chatter and throw small bits of paper at Bridget Fonda's empty and lifeless face.
"I'd like to be an ant," Bridget says. Then cut away to Keanu Reeves (!) as the Great Buddha himself. Envision Bridget on her knees before Buddha. Envision Bridget on her knees before Genghis Khan. Envision Bridget on her knees before Jim Morrison.
Envision whatever you like, for there are many paths to Enlightenment. But do not become a substitute teacher. And do not go to see Bridget Fonda looking blank and empty in this awful, awful movie. Pray instead that everyone responsible will be reborn as ants . . . or substitute teachers. Pray that those responsible for adding to the world's suffering will be forced to watch this awful film year after year, while the freshmen laugh and chatter and throw small bits of paper at Bridget Fonda's empty and lifeless face.