Hot Dog (I) (2018)
2/10
Gigantic mess without a doubt
13 December 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Okay, here we have "Hot Dog", a relatively new German 2018 movie. This one premiered in January 2018, so it is almost a year old by now. It is also among the more successful German films from this year, but I am glad I am writing "more" and not "most" because films starring Schweiger and especially Schweighöfer tend to be really big crowd magnets here in Germany despite almost always being completely garbage. This one is no exception, quality-wise, so we can be glad it was not that much of a hit commercially compared to many other movies. I already mentioned the two protagonists, so lets take a look behind the camera first. Director is Torsten Künstler and he worked with both on several occasions already and also the two writers Malinke and Clancy have a connection with this duo, rather with Schweiger than Schweighöfer I guess. Now back to this film we got here. It runs for 105 minutes and has our two charmers play GSG10 agents who gets demoted from their jobs and have to take care of an embassy during really bad weather as a consequence. Of course, this is excactly when the ambassador's daughter gets kidnapped by heavily armed intruders and from that moment on it is all about finding and saving her. Schweighöfer's character is crushing on her while Schweiger's wants to restore his professional honor that he let them get away with the young woman.

So i would say that the action/crime aspect is not too shabby overall, but it is the comedy as usual with Schweighöfer that ruins the film because it all feels so fake and forced. All the sex references as always like the naked butt on this gigantic stuffed bear and this is just one example. So Schweighöfer has the more physically embarrassing stuff, but yeah his constant talk about standing up verbally to alpha male Schweiger is not helping either. The latter has the two most embarrassing comedic lines, one including Eva Braun, the next near the very end something he says all out of nowhere in English to his daughter's boyfriend. So yeah, he is also getting his obligatory romantic story line in which he bonds with his ex-wife and daughter again, the only two women he ever loved despite the many he had. Back to Schweighöfer, he gets a cringeworthy romantic story line with a female colleague that is crushing on him while he only has eyes for the ambassador's daughter. But it is never in doubt who he is going for eventually and to make things easier for the simple-minded, they just turn the girl in a ridiculous plot twist into another bad guy/girl as well. What else? Oh yeah you will find familiar faces from other Schweig(höf)er films in here like Finzi of course or the guy who plays the huge brutal henchman. The duo's boss seemed familiar too, no idea what they were doing with his story line, so bad to watch him losing his sanity in a friendly (comedic???) way. And of course, as always, there is the forced very unrealistic happy ending and also nobody gets severely hurt or even dies, from the good guys at least and the hot chick gets to live too. It is really difficult to find something positive here. I think some of Schweiger's lines were mildly funny lets say and I also liked the part where he thinks early on he won't get fired, but then he does and his boss is happy he can finally let him go which was a bit of a parody that normally in these films the good guys can get away with everything if they want to and still won't lose their jobs. Fonal mention to Heino Ferch, not a great actor himself, but it says a lot about this film here that his 2-scene cameo elevates the movie quite a bit and he was fun and a bit of a scene stealer, maybe because he had so little screen time. Okay that is all now, a gigantic thumbs-down from me and this film was a pain to sit through at times. Definitely a contender for worst German film of 2018 and perhaps also one of the worst films I have seen all year and that says quite something as it was really many. Highly highly not recommended. One can only hope that Schweighöfer despite his youthful presence at almost 40 now soon gets out of the age range where he can get away with films and humor like this one. And that no younger actor will be there to fill this most cringeworthy gap.
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