The first 30 minutes of this film are fairly dull but we do get to see a car exploding while police shoot up some random bad guys. Next we're introduced to our main character who casually strolls up and fires one of those pesky noob tube grenade launchers into the bad guys building instantly wiping out all intelligent forms of life inside. The cops then shoot the non intelligent survivors for fun and our 'hero' pretends to lose an arrested woman who turns out to be his informant, who he sleeps with, again for fun. Next we see bens character be a terrible Realtor and a terrible father so that's a thing. Next the crew gets thrown together and instantly puts a plan in action and decide to go through with it after looking over a wall and thinking 'We can totally take those guys and steal all their money'. With all that expert planning done they now show up on game day and begin talking over the radio like complete professionals and totally not like a bunch of guys messing around at a bar. They bust in and cant find mr baddie but they quickly figure out through a mindbendingly genius way that theres money in the walls so steal all of that because its cool to do so. The plan goes sideways and they shoot all the awfully trained guards and then find mr baddie hiding, shoot him for the sake of it and torch the place so it looks better. They take the money and place it on a helicopter which they got from some random guy charlie hunnam knows. Pilot of the year now calculates the weight of the cash perfectly and they attempt to fly over the andes mountains. Next we see some of the best CGI I've seen since the deer in The Walking dead or the final scene in Sons of anarchy as the helicopter flies over some mountains. Amazingly mr pilot was off on his weight calculations by a few grams so they need to throw some bags of cash out to make it. Drama alert as they are still overweight like 2 sumos in an elevator so have to ditch the main net of cash which of course falls into a field of cocaine. The helicopter crashes but everyone is absolutely fine and they all jump out and begin shouting at the locals. Ben affleck throws in the towel at this point and poorly reads his lines then shoots a bunch of civilian cocaine farmers because one of them pulls a 2 inch blade out to trim his nails. Charlie hunnam was shot earlier but now strolls about like he's Conor McGregor. Ben affleck pretends he's upset for killing the boys father but is now happy he has a shiny new pen knife. Charlie then strokes a donkey that is carrying roughly 1 million pounds of weight on its back and then they all head off to find carrots because the donkey is hungry. After being unable to locate a carrot they give up and decide to kick their feet up and put on their lovely little raincoats and talk about how they're all big tough guys with so many problems. Now we're really getting into some great filmage as they all edge up a moutain like it's a tomb raider game but because the donkey is so tired from lack of food it slips and falls off the mountain. RIP donkey. You will be missed. The non important humans make it up and ben nearly starts crying because he remembered he's still batman but thankfully he manages to pull himself together. All of the "band of brothers" are feeling chilly billy now but quickly begin laughing because they're all celebrities with lots of money so set fire to some of it and laugh some more at poor people. Ben dies.... In the film and then the guy who gets shot in four brothers begins throwing hands at charlie hunnam but mr green street holds his own. They throw the money bags off a cliff, store some in private areas and huff a dummy supposed to be ben down a mountain and onto a boat. They Make it out with pocket change which they give to bens family in some sort of moral pack which no sane human would do. The main character looks at a piece of paper with co-ordinates to the money they threw off the cliff, then walks away. The end. But is it really ? I think we all know what happened next right ? Clearly the donkey survived the fall, finds the bags of cash and hires human slaves to build a mansion made entirely out of carrots. What a terrific film I have witnessed. Truly great comedy, a must watch.
Review of Triple Frontier
