4/10
You ain't no lady you're a reporter
16 June 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Torchy Blane in Chinatown (1939) continues the downward spiral of the previous Torchy Gets Her Man (1938) and represents a nadir for the series. It is the most frustrating entry primarily for wasting an interesting premise and substantial acting talent with a terrible script. The narrative once again puts Torchy on the outside looking in as the story focuses on Lt. Steve MacBride bungling his investigation. He really comes across as a clown with a badge while Torchy is put into her by now familiar role of wisecracking nuisance.

The title is a misnomer as no one ever sets foot in Chinatown; the plot is driven by the supposed revenge on an archeologist, Allan Fitzhugh, and his friends Mansfield & Captain Condon for liberating some jade burial tablets from China. Fitzhugh has received a death threat and goes to the police for protection. Steve McBride offers to not only protect but apprehended the villains which starts the plot off in all directions. Pretty soon people are dying, bodies disappearing, a senator's future son-in-law (with the priceless only-in-the-thirties name Dick Baldwin) is being extorted, and nearly everyone is receiving ominous messages written in Chinese.

Director William "One Take" Beaudine employs a series of stock shots at the outset and peppers the film with many Eastern references to inject some oriental flavor into the show. The standard Torchy Blane theme during the credits is rearranged to favor an Asian lilt as well. Unfortunately Beaudine is unable to make the story cohesive; in retrospect the narrative is impossibly muddled and provokes way too many questions. Despite some apparent grizzly deaths and a thick air of intrigue the cast seems remarkably calm and unconcerned by everything. Given the way things develop the ultimate solution to the mystery should be obvious to any viewer and announcing there is a twist at the end isn't revealing too much.

Glenda Farrell tries her best to inject some life into the tired screenplay with her line readings and bits of physical business such as constantly hitting people but truly has no chance. Her character feels shoehorned into the proceedings; every important sequence begins with Steve policing and her snooping around the fringe until she blunders into the center of things. On the plus side Miss Farrell has the opportunity to be glammed up in a fancy dress for a party sequence but that is small consolation for the indignities she suffers throughout.

If Miss Farrell is handcuffed by the narrative Barton MacLane is clapped in irons doing hard labor. Steve McBride is a complete jackass in this venture as he continually boasts of catching the perpetrators but is constantly outwitted (At one point he is accurately referred to as a "lumbering limb of the law"). On a personal level he boomerangs between yelling at Torchy and demeaningly offering to feed her scoops while being relentlessly cruel & dismissive towards Gahagan. Through it all MacLane soldiers on and does his best to lend dignity to his poorly-conceived role.

Tom Kennedy has his most demeaning turn as the simpleton Gahagan and for once MacBride sidelines him at the climax to spare himself the nincompoop's shenanigans. Predictably Gahagan isn't so easily shunned aside as he takes a page out of Torchy's book by barreling into the proceedings and somehow catching up to a speedboat while clumsily rowing a dinghy. And if that's not enough he's forced to spout cringeworthy racist dialect when apprehending the masked culprits.

Series regulars Frank Shannon, George Guhl, and Joe Cunningham re-enact their roles as McTavish, Graves, and Maxie although Guhl & Cunningham basically have walk-ons. John Harron appears as a driver while John Ridgely pops up as a submarine officer. Sharp eyed connoisseurs of classic cinema can pick out Victor Sen Young in a brief bit as well.

The true tragedy is the waste of cinematic talents Henry O'Neill, Patric Knowles, and James Stephenson. O'Neill is the jade collecting Senator Baldwin who's forever clashing with the brusk MacBride which curiously offers no future payoff. The always reliable Knowles is wasted as Condon while appearing bored and disinterested throughout. Perhaps most blatantly cast aside is Stephenson as Mansfield; he succumbs to both pedestrian writing and a poisoned cigarette (possibly). Surprisingly the actor who's treated with the most respect is Tetsu Komai as Lem, the Mayor of Chinatown. He apprises MacBride of the large suspect list based on the extensive lineage of those affected by the removal of the burial tablets. Of course, one has to overlook the fact that Komai is Japanese but hey, you can't have complete racial sensitivity in 1939.

Having now skewered this movie one might get the impression the film is to be avoided but this supposition would be incorrect. It has entertainment value but the sheer waste of Patric Knowles, James Stephenson, and Henry O'Neill - not to mention stars Glenda Farrell, Barton MacLane, and Tom Kennedy - by a shoddy script is infuriating. For squandering its substantial assets Torchy Blane in Chinatown achieves the dubious distinction of being the worst film in the series.
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