6/10
Trouble on the French-Belgian border
22 June 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Now that European unification is approaching, the border controls between Belgium and France are about to fade into insignificance. This spells bad news for the various people (customs men, smugglers, owners of tourist attractions and so on) who make a living based on the very existence of that border. In Belgium, a French-hating customs man with a hair-trigger temper feels particularly aggrieved. In his mind's eye, his beloved country is about to be overrun by hordes of snooty Frenchmen who eat stinking cheese and make condescending jokes. But he does not yet know the worst, to wit that his only sister has been seeing a member of the despicable Enemy Nation...

"Rien à déclarer" is a Franco-Belgian comedy made with enviable production values. (The scenery and sets are outstanding, but beware the product placement...) "Rien à déclarer" made me laugh, but not often and not loud enough. It could have used more brevity, variety and imagination. It also could have used better comedic timing.

I've got to say that the character of the French-hating customs man looked and sounded like a complete psycho : to me, he seemed more disquieting than funny or eccentric. It is hard to think of any reasonable customs service that would hire AND arm a man like that. Christ, in real life such an irascible fanatic could amass a body count worthy of a mass murderer...

The various actors were likeable enough, but they deserved better material.

You'll notice that the French-hating Belgian protagonist has called his son Léopold, in honour of the first king of the Belgians. Now this first Leopold was a very interesting man who lived in very interesting times. In case you, dear reader, are interested in learning more about him you can do worse than watch "Léopold, roi des Belges", a recent Walloon animation movie. The animation movie, which has a nicely handmade feel, provides an imaginative and witty overview of Belgian history somewhere between, say, 1810 and 1870.
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